Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

For some people, obtaining an unsuitable duty is acceptable.
However
, others say that improving that certain kind of task is much better.
This
essay will be discussed both different views along with my personal opinions.
First
of all, it can be seen that many choose to keep working with their company because of their old working tradition. In Japan,
for example
, being honest and tolerant
to
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the organization is one of the social expectations. It is their society values that the employees should not alter their company; whoever
do
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does

The verb do does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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that is
judged as an inadmissible person. Even though some workers are unsatisfied with their workplace, they have to pretend that they are doing well.
Moreover
,
an
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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idea of being afraid of losing high income is considered a huge problem. If any who earn lots of money change their job, their wage would be likely to decrease.
Therefore
, these people may prefer to accept over
handle
Add an article
the handle

The noun phrase handle seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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with
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their difficulties.
On the other hand
, someone
believe
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believes

It appears that the indefinite pronoun someone does not agree with the verb believe in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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that escaping the issue and finding the suit task for them may be a better choice.
For instance
, when the person is working in
the
Correct article usage
an

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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environment which is anxious for oneself and ended with an unpassionate motivation, it is
then
getting worse in both work's quality and the worker's feeling.
Hence
, leaving the company or changing the position might consider a great solution: it would
helps
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help

The verb helps after the modal verb would does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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the employee to become less
stressful
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stressed

The word stressful doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, which leads to a healthier lifestyle.
Furthermore
, if employees could able to apply to their suit jobs, they would feel enjoyed and engaged to succeed. When acknowledging that the current situation is unpleasant, altering to the different site can consider an effective option.  There are mainly two choices for most people, keep doing and quit their work. Between these two options, it depends on the person who makes the decision, whether which way is worth the most for oneself. Personally, I
agree
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onagree
toagree
withagree

The phrase following the intransitive verb agree seems to be missing a preposition. Consider adding one.

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the decision
of
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to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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quitting and attending to a new workplace because
this
may
could
Remove a modal verb
apply

The verbs, may and could, are both modal verbs. You cannot use two modal verbs in one clause. Remove one of these verbs.

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help some to know themselves more.
Submitted by chompunoot.rag on

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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