The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the level of violent crime in the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #control #amount #violence #films #television #decrease #level #crime #society

In recent decades, amount of TV series and Movies which picture many violent crimes and murders

increase

Wrong verb form

has increased

show examples

dramatically. Unfortunately,

due to

this

emphasis rate of lawlessness

acts

rise

Correct subject-verb agreement

rises

show examples

in society significantly. I definitely agree with the idea that governments out to regulate the programs because of reducing the percentage of harshness. On the one hand, there is no doubt that teenagers are the vulnerable group of our communities when it comes to committing a crime. when they see many cruelties on TV maybe inspire them to do that because they think that it would be amusing.

Furthermore

, if people see many

acts

of violence on a daily basis, it will be like an ordinary act for them and don't

Verb problem

have

show examples

any special reaction.

For instance

, nowadays many citizens

when reading

Wrong verb form

read

show examples

murder news,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

doesn't make them sad because they read the same news every day.

Hence

, if authorities want to reduce the number of violations and cruel

acts

in their society, they ought to regulate the amount of violence on TV programs.

Although

there are so many other solutions,

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

some rules for producing television programs can reduce some detrimental and harsh thinking in society before anyone commits a crime.

Also

, some movies like the

movie

Fix the agreement mistake

movies

show examples

about serial killers, sometimes

are shown

Wrong verb form

show

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people how they kill a person in detail that are terrible.

To conclude

, I believe that if a country’s dwellers see fewer violent movies and even

knowing

Wrong verb form

know

show examples

about some violent

acts

, it has a dire impact on the rate of crime in that country.

Submitted by mgolnari6 on Thu Oct 14 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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