IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
Nowadays, online shopping become one of the fastest-growing industries in the world in leu with physical shops in towns and cities is intend to close. I agree online shopping owners give more freedom on finance every month while the physical owner will declare bankruptcy. Online shopping is the best move for society who want to go for business. Being the owner of
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
 will give financial freedom in a sense of they will cut off a rental bill, electricity bill, and tax. Because of advanced technology, many are applications created that can use to shop like lazada, shoppe, and ZALORA that cater to whatever you need in just browsing and clicking. Mostly, all their customers are
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
a crowd
show examples
 who want stress-free shopping and not crowded.
For example
, people with long hours of work
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just go online and use their time to go store
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 another task. The stock owner now is having a hard time coping. With the booming of online shopping, stock owners thinking to close their shops so they can cut rent bills and other expenses. Many stock owners starting to think of different promotions or sales to survive. Today, it gives them more
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
 because of the pandemic, people are afraid to go out.
For instance
, a bigger store starting to cut half their space renting the half to others which can surpass for few months but still they intend to close. In conclusion, in time online shopping is one of the go-to shopping of the people that make their life easy that lead the shops on different places to shut down. E-commerce gives freedom for the business which is starting.
Submitted by maryaizee_14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: