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Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words

#minutes #students #work #results #time #education #pressure
Nowadays, there are a lot of
students
 who
work
 while studying.
Although
this
 tendency may lead to negative results, the number of young people who sacrifice
education
 for
work
 is growing. I believe that
this
problem
 has certain causes and can be solved by taking special measures. It is apparent that most of the
students
 who
work
 have many financial
expenses
 to meet. One common cause is
high
Add an article
the high
show examples
 cost of
education
. As many colleges and universities set high tuition fees, some families cannot fully afford
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
education
 for their children.
Consequently
, these
students
 have to
work
 to pay university and college fees. The other cause is living
expenses
. Many
students
 study away from
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and have to pay for accommodation, food, entertainment etc. As it is often hard to cover these
expenses
,
students
 are forced to earn money to afford their living. I think that the
problem
 of
students
 working during their studies results in lower quality of
education
 and has no benefits at all.
Thus
, it should be solved on the governmental level. I can suggest two possible solutions to
this
problem
.
Firstly
, the government could make higher
education
 free.
For instance
,
this
 result can be achieved by financing educational establishments from the country’s budget. Not only will it make universities and colleges accessible for everyone, but it will
also
 reduce the number of working
students
. The
second
 solution is promoting unpaid e-learning.
Such
form
Correct article usage
a form
show examples
 of distance
education
 doesn’t require a lot of resources to be maintained. What’s more,
students
 don’t have to leave their homes and can plan their schedules the way they prefer. In conclusion, I believe that mainly lack of financial resources causes
students
 to
work
, but
this
problem
 can be solved by lowering the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of financial
expenses
students
 have to meet.
Submitted by MOHAMMADASADI711 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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