At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Nowadays, based on the figures that have been extracted from research, we are witnessing a severe contrast between

people

’s ages.

This

means, in many countries, young

people

are in the majority comparing with old

people

This

essay has been written regarding that, by the proper guidance, societies can be benefited positively from

this

matter in numerous fields.

Firstly

, it should be pointed out whether a country is developed or undeveloped, it is vital to possessing fresh manpower for keeping the momentum and staying in the game of progress. In another word, a developed country (or undeveloped one) needs the right substitutes for

Change the article

the previous

show examples

generation in favour of keep doing what they have been up to.

Otherwise

, they will not be able to execute their programs

for

Change preposition

show examples

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

and probably

this

is just the beginning! Obviously, undeveloped nations have a quiet worst condition and there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

no chance for them to even sparking the engine

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if their population contain a majority of old

people

thus

, there is a grave danger for aged communities on the way to progress.

Moreover

, the effectiveness and high capability of well-motivated young adults should not be neglected.

For instance

, young ones are significantly more creative and productive than their parents, because they belong to

this

era, so they are capable of understanding it more easily and make many innovating decisions on a vast scale.

On the other hand

, there is an argument commonly put forward that creativity and similar skills are not enough, and experience is a crucial factor of being

valuable

Replace the word

valued

show examples

as a workforce. Advocators claim,

best

Add an article

the best

show examples

result will come when a person be a combination of knowledge, motivation, strength and experience. For closeness of the mind, illustrate specific soldiers whose has been equipped with unique training, like marines (the USA navy special force). They all will be

though

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

the exact same thing during their training but, there is a clear difference between newcomers and the ones that have had field experiences.

Therefore

, there are some holes that could not be filled just by

high

Add an article

a high

the high

show examples

level of readiness or severe enthusiasm. All in all, while many authorities are concern about

ageing

Add an article

the ageing

an ageing

show examples

issue, in some countries we can see a rising incidence of young

people

population. And like any similar subject,

this

is controversial as well. But unlike the opposition groups, I firmly believe it should be looked at as a positive incident and arrange a plan for gaining the best outcome.

Submitted by bigblackbear1996 on Fri Oct 15 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

407 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do you advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem?

What is homelessness? And what you think about the reasons of for people having home less

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there to this problem?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the last past thirty years that many cities in the world are now on big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars.