IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life.Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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Some
people
aruged
Correct your spelling
argued
argue
 whether we should
work
 in one organisation for our whole working
life
 or not. Both
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 advantages and drawbacks.
This
 essay will
therefore
 discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of working.
First
, you can extend your point of view by joining different
companies
. Every business has their own culture and working
sytle
Correct your spelling
style
,
therefore
, you can gain different skills and working experiences through working at different organisations. Some
companies
 may come from different countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 while working in their businesses, you can get a try in another business culture, as well as broadening a horizon.
Furthermore
, you can build up a wider interpersonal relation. As you
work
 in different
companies
 in your working
life
, you get a chance to meet many different
intellengient
Correct your spelling
intelligent
people
.
As a result
, you can extend your relation,
also
 advance your knowledge by knowing different
people
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, you can
work
 in a known-well environment if you only
work
 in one company throughout your working career. As you don't have to cope with the environment and
people
, it can reduce your stress, and increase your productivity, because you are in the familiar
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Moreover
, you can build up a strong relationship with your peer. As you are working in the same business,
instead
 of switching the environment, you get to your colleague for time, and
therefore
 have a strong relationship. In conclusion, either working in the same organisation or in different
companies
 in your career
life
 can give you a joyful experience. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 outgoing person, I would like to do in several
companies
.
Therefore
, in my opinion, you should decide your working
life
 based on your characteristics.
Submitted by dorischy124 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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