Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

There are many reasons why illegal
music
is considered to be a threat to the
music
industry and something should be done to protect illegal
music
from the internet. I personally agree with
this
statement and
this
essay will show more details. First of all , the singer or producer spent so much
time
and
put
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effort to do every step of a
song
.
For example
, they have to think about the lyrics , the story of the
song
, the sound of vocals and
also
the location to shoot the
music
video so every step takes
time
and money
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if their
music
did
Verb problem
is
show examples
not successful like no one listens to the
music
they would lose both money and
time
by getting nothing back. 
On the other hand
, if a
song
is successful , many people listen to
their
Change the word
the
show examples
music
and share
their
Change the word
the
show examples
song
with others , they will get more income by selling the albums or streaming the
song
via online platforms and
also
get a reputation. 
However
, when the
song
is well-known there is someone who shares it
illegal
Change the word
illegally
show examples
and the population will listen to
this
song
for free and they got nothing back at the same
time
.
Therefore
, they should do something to prevent
this
happen.
For example
, creating
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rule through the company to punish someone who shares it publicly without permission from the company. In my opinion , I think the person who makes a mistake by sharing a
song
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
the public should be punished. In conclusion , nowadays we have various platforms to share illegal
music
and many ways to do
this
so we have to seriously punish the person who intends to do
this
.
This
is recommended to create a law team to solve an event like
this
.
Submitted by nppwrs on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Focus on connecting ideas more smoothly to enhance coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual property
  • piracy
  • copyright infringement
  • revenue loss
  • digital rights management (DRM)
  • streaming platforms
  • illegal downloads
  • file sharing
  • economic impact
  • ethical considerations
  • music royalties
  • legislation
  • consumer ethics
  • affordable alternatives
  • music industry sustainability
  • emerging artists
  • legitimate sources
  • pirated content
  • distribution platforms
  • technological countermeasures
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