IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that hosting an international sport events is good for the country why some people think it is that discuss both views and state your opinion

#people #sport #events #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different views about becoming a
country
Use synonyms
host
Use synonyms
 for an international
sprots
Correct your spelling
sports
 event. While there are some existing drawbacks of being a
country
Use synonyms
host
Use synonyms
, I would argue that it does bring more
benefits
Use synonyms
 to the
country
Use synonyms
 hosting for
an
Change the article
a
show examples
world-wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
 sport event. On the one hand, there are reasons why hosting an international
sports
Use synonyms
 event is bad.
First
Linking Words
, since it costs from millions to
billions
Add the preposition
ofbillions
show examples
 dollars to build
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 that
suitable
Add a missing verb
are suitable
show examples
 for the standards of international competitions, it would cause financial burdens on a national budget.
This
Linking Words
 leads to the postpone of other crucial projects
such
Linking Words
 as schools or electricity in distant areas
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 the lack of
capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital
show examples
.
Second
Linking Words
, the
benefits
Use synonyms
 that
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 from international
sports
Use synonyms
 events might
under
Add a missing verb
be under
show examples
expectations
Correct article usage
the expectations
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
host
Add an article
the host
a host
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, due to the coronavirus pandemic, Japan which used to
proud
Add a missing verb
be proud
show examples
 to become the
country
Use synonyms
host
Use synonyms
 of Olympic 2019 could not gain the
benefits
Use synonyms
 from
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
show examples
tourisms
Correct your spelling
tourism
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
host
Add an article
the host
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 for global
sports
Use synonyms
 games would gain
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
benefits
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
, because the
country
Use synonyms
host
Use synonyms
 would have
accesses
Fix the agreement mistake
access
show examples
 to financial supports from international
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 to build
facilities
Use synonyms
 used for the game, the
country
Use synonyms
 could change the national
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 when the
country
Use synonyms
 takes advantage of it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, not only
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 public construction infrastructure would be improved.
Second
Linking Words
, probably nothing better
to
Change preposition
than to
show examples
 advertise the name and the beauty of a
country
Use synonyms
 to gain the advantage of tourism when it becomes the
host
Use synonyms
 of a game that gain the notice of the world. People could visit the
host
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 thanks to its
reputations
Fix the agreement mistake
reputation
show examples
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
sports
Use synonyms
 events or to support the competition, which leads to a surge in tourists. In conclusion, some countries possibly
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulties
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 becoming a
host
Use synonyms
 of
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
international
sports
Use synonyms
 even, others could take advantage of
this
Linking Words
 opportunity to develop and advertise the
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kimngocngocttdpt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: