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Writing Samples
Band 6

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#illness #death #world #interest #health #governments #ban #cigarettes #tobacco #products
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Nowadays, some individuals argue that smoking is a principal cause of grave diseases around the world. Because of
this
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 impact on communal health, they defend that many governmental leaders ought to prohibit
products
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 derived from
tobacco
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. In
this
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 essay, I am going to explain why I strongly agree with
this
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 opinion because
cigarettes
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 and peers provoke detrimental effects. The main reason why I believe governments should forbid
tobacco
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products
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 is the tremendous costs associated with all medical treatments required by smokers. Given the presence of a variety of chemical
products
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,
such
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 as nicotine,
cigarettes
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 caused substantial medical issues,
such
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 as lung cancer.
For instance
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, in Brazil, more than 2 billion dollars are spent on health treatments of patients that suffer from respiratory diseases and lung cancer every year, and more than two-thirds of these problems are related to long-term using of
tobacco
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products
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.
Moreover
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, the use of
cigarettes
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also
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 affects unintentional victims, taking children as an example, because they have to share the same place with smokers.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
 they do not use
tobacco
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 directly, they inhale all smoke which
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
 many substances that injury their immune and respiratory system. According to a study from Oxford University, the risk of emphysema increases by 93% among young persons
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have been living with smoking relatives and the gravity of it is worst among these patients. In conclusion, I am firm in my opinion that smoking must be globally forbidden by governments because it represents a serious problem for humanity.
Cigarettes
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 and peers cause many health disorders for users and for other people who coexist with them. On top of that, nations around the world spend enormous funds on medical treatments
instead
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 of using
this
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 value in other public actions.
Submitted by debi_quistina on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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