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Writing Samples
Band 5

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity . Do the advantage of this is outweigh the disadvantages

#demand #gas #oil #sources #areas #necessity #advantage
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Owing to the rise in the need for non-renewable sources of energy, in
this
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 contemporary era, it has become essential to seek out other alternatives by drilling in far off places. While
this
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 trend has demerits to some extent, I would argue that it is merits are more significant and pertinent notions will be explicated
further
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. Commencing with pre-eminent positive aspects of
this
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 assertion. The former viable anatomy is, less usage of oil and gas would lessen the pollution. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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more, if the commoners begin to use more electric vehicles, air contamination will
dimish
Correct your spelling
diminish
 to some extent, which has become a grave concern of today's world, and it not only impact the environment but
also
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health
Add an article
the health
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 of inhabitants. In the USA, to exemplify, in 2009, electric cars were launched by
automobile
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the automobile
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 industry in the market, which
dimish
Correct your spelling
diminish
 the 2% pollution.
Furthermore
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, as drilling more areas for extraction of other resources, more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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people are required, which eventually generate jobs for dwellers;
Therefore
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, to protect the world from polluted environment, and to proliferate the job market,
driliing
Correct your spelling
drilling
declining
 remote places has become
necessity
Add an article
a necessity
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. In
site
Correct your spelling
spite
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 of having certain favourable aspects, the dark side of finding innovative methods for non-renewable resources, can not be overlooked. Since immense money is needed to build a plant for the development of electric cars, the government needs to invest
a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of finance on
this
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,
however
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
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ministry can spend that money
in
Change preposition
on
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 the welfare of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
For instance
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, in the TOI article, the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 of India invest 2 million
of
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in
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amount
Correct article usage
the amount
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on
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social works rather than creating electric cars.
Hence
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, in terms of financial investment, launching new plants for other resources of
enengy
Correct your spelling
energy
 would be a huge cost. In conclusion, albeit the monetary investment is higher to manufacture the plant, living in
unpolluted
Correct article usage
an unpolluted
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 atmosphere and reduce the confinements of unemployment are more fruitful for a healthy society.
Submitted by er.priyagupta123 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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