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Band 5

Many people today use their phones for sending texts more than talking. What are the reasons for this? Are there more advantages than disadvantages?

#people #phones #texts
In the recent past,
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
use
 their phones for chatting with their friends or families than talking face-to-face because when they
use
 their smartphones, they can send to their friends or families from anywhere. From my point of view,
although
 It convenient and do not have to wait for chatting, it did not feel interesting and sometimes
person
Correct article usage
the person
show examples
 did not understand each other. These days, technology
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 an important role for individual’s human being including how they talking with their partner or families that can make their lives more easily.
For example
, business
people
 who did not have enough time to talk with their partner or cannot come back home on the weekends,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will choose the way that can make their lives easier.
In other words
, they
use
 their phone for texting or calling with their buddy, and
this
 way they do not have to go to the place and it did not waste their time to
work
.
On the other hand
,
sender
Correct article usage
the sender
show examples
 and receiver feel using
smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
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 is not an interesting object rather than talking in real life which they can see each other. The reason is some account it cannot talking on their phone because it can make
people
 misunderstanding, leads to mistake in their
work
.
Furthermore
, in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of normal talking, most telephone
user
Change to a plural noun
users
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 prefer to meet their buddy in real life more than on the phone talking since they can do activities
besides
 just talking.
Consequently
,
people
 can feel more comfortable and happier to meet their mate who did not see for a long time,
also
 reduce stress from
work
 and relax from busy days. In conclusion, even though handheld can make life easier that can talk from anywhere they are
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 who
use
 smartphone suggest to see each other in real situation and can make they relax from
work
.
Submitted by Kookkikpamika on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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