IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people today use their phones for sending texts more than talking. What are the reasons for this? Are there more advantages than disadvantages?

#people #phones #texts
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In the recent past,
Add an article
a person
the person
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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are
Change the verb form
uses
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use
Use synonyms
 their phones for chatting with their friends or families than talking face-to-face because when they
use
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 their smartphones, they can send to their friends or families from anywhere. From my point of view,
although
Linking Words
 It convenient and do not have to wait for chatting, it did not feel interesting and sometimes
person
Correct article usage
the person
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 did not understand each other. These days, technology
play
Change the verb form
plays
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 an important role for individual’s human being including how they talking with their partner or families that can make their lives more easily.
For example
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, business
people
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 who did not have enough time to talk with their partner or cannot come back home on the weekends,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will choose the way that can make their lives easier.
In other words
Linking Words
, they
use
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 their phone for texting or calling with their buddy, and
this
Linking Words
 way they do not have to go to the place and it did not waste their time to
work
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
sender
Correct article usage
the sender
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 and receiver feel using
smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
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 is not an interesting object rather than talking in real life which they can see each other. The reason is some account it cannot talking on their phone because it can make
people
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 misunderstanding, leads to mistake in their
work
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of normal talking, most telephone
user
Change to a plural noun
users
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 prefer to meet their buddy in real life more than on the phone talking since they can do activities
besides
Linking Words
 just talking.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
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 can feel more comfortable and happier to meet their mate who did not see for a long time,
also
Linking Words
 reduce stress from
work
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 and relax from busy days. In conclusion, even though handheld can make life easier that can talk from anywhere they are
,
Remove the comma
apply
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people
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 who
use
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 smartphone suggest to see each other in real situation and can make they relax from
work
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.
Submitted by Kookkikpamika on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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