WRITING TASK 2: Today, people are getting greedy and selfish. Some people argue that we should go back the old days and show respect for the family and community, so that we can make the world a better place to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #show #respect #community #world #place

There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that currently,

people

need to come back to their own days and witness admiration for family and communication, which can act as a precursor to improves the living standard of the world. While

this

statement is valid to some extent, I would contend that I partially agree with

this

idea. On the one hand,

people

, who come back to their born and raised place, can significantly contribute to the prosperity of not only their family but

also

society.

In other words

people

can remove their selfishness and greed, and share their remarkable knowledge

Change preposition

with

show examples

people

sheltered in their old

community

with a view to greatly enhance their financial statement, and

also

bring tremendous benefits to the

community

For example

, Pham Nhat Vuong, who is cited as top 1000 billionaires in the world by Forbes, comes back from Ukraine to Viet Nam, where he was raised, in order to give poor

people

a hand to become wealthier

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and generate a wealth of jobs for his countries.

Thus

people

go back to their old communication and family to do remarkable wonders for other

people

within their countries.

On the other hand

people

also

have their own reasons to not go back and help their countries. One of the most reasonable causes is that the old communities bring a negative impact to their life, which can not provide enough conditions for them to enhance their quality

Correct your spelling

life

lives

Change preposition

of lifes

show examples

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

Therefore

, they may not only act as a disturbance for the prosperity of the old

community

but

also

can be cited as a burden for the family.

Hence

, they should not come back to their old

community

if they can not greatly revamp their life in order to support others. In conclusion,

people

should go back to bring as many benefits as they can to make their old

community

more flourish.

Besides

, it is understandable if they can not go back to serve

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their society.

Submitted by thuhuong3031999 on Mon Oct 18 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

331 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

individualism
consumer culture
digital interactions
community-focused lifestyles
erosion of family values
communal respect
mental health problems
social isolation
traditional family values
sense of belonging
mutual support
social cohesion
individual freedom
diversity
inclusivity
social harmony

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WRITING TASK 2: Today, people are getting greedy and selfish. Some people argue that we should go back the old days and show respect for the family and community, so that we can make the world a better place to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. Agree or disagree.

Now it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not be able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, do advantages of credit card outweight the disadventages?