IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SUCCESS IS THE BEST MEASURE FOR INTELLIGENCE,WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT INTELLIGENCE CAN BE MEASURED IN OTHER WAYS. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

#people #success #measure #intelligence
It is often observed that some
people
 think that
success
 can lead to
intelligence
,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 brilliancy can be measured in different
ways
.
success
 is the key measure for
intelligence
,
while
 others refute the notion.From my personal standpoint,
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 in
viewpoint
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoints
show examples
 can lead to various
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.I believe
intelligence
 has different aspects and can be measured in various
ways
.
To begin
 with,many
people
 believe that
success
 is the primary factor for
intelligence
.
Moreover
,destiny can lead to
success
,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
success
 can lead to fame, fame can lead to
money
 and
money
 can lead to different personalities.Even though, Some
people
 think that shortcut is the fastest way to
success
.
For example
, Famous actor
sharukh khan
Correct your spelling
Sharukh Khan
show examples
 wife
gauri khan
Correct your spelling
Gauri Khan
show examples
 is successful as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 interior designer because of
the
Change the word
her
show examples
 fame and
money
 which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to destiny after getting married to
sharukh khan
Correct your spelling
Sharukh Khan
show examples
.
Secondly
,some
people
 think
intelligence
 can not be measured by getting
success
.Comparatively,
Intelligence
 has different parameters,For some
people
intelligence
 means helping poor
people
 in
Add an article
the
a
show examples
local community or through some charities,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 in today's fast lifestyle public
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 that spending time with their family and loved ones is equal to
success
.
Therefore
,
people
 who don't want to take shortcuts in earning
money
 and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 time with family that doesn't mean that they are
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 successful.
For example
,famous actor
rajnikant
Change the capitalization
Rajnikant
show examples
 donates nearly 80% of his income
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 charities, and welfare association which leads to happiness, respect and true humanity, in
this
 fake world ,which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 him successful in different
ways
.
To conclude
,
success
 and
intelligence
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on human personality,
in addition
 to,sometimes successful
people
 are arrogant in nature and brilliancy can be seen in various
ways
. In my opinion,
intelligence
 can be measured in various parameters.
Submitted by vfxabhii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: