IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SUCCESS IS THE BEST MEASURE FOR INTELLIGENCE,WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT INTELLIGENCE CAN BE MEASURED IN OTHER WAYS. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

#people #success #measure #intelligence
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It is often observed that some
people
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 think that
success
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 can lead to
intelligence
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,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
,
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apply
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 brilliancy can be measured in different
ways
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.
success
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 is the key measure for
intelligence
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,
while
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 others refute the notion.From my personal standpoint,
difference
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differences
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 in
viewpoint
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viewpoints
show examples
 can lead to various
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.I believe
intelligence
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 has different aspects and can be measured in various
ways
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.
To begin
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 with,many
people
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 believe that
success
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 is the primary factor for
intelligence
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.
Moreover
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,destiny can lead to
success
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,
where as
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whereas
show examples
success
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 can lead to fame, fame can lead to
money
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 and
money
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 can lead to different personalities.Even though, Some
people
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 think that shortcut is the fastest way to
success
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.
For example
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, Famous actor
sharukh khan
Correct your spelling
Sharukh Khan
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 wife
gauri khan
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Gauri Khan
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 is successful as
a
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an
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 interior designer because of
the
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her
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 fame and
money
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 which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to destiny after getting married to
sharukh khan
Correct your spelling
Sharukh Khan
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.
Secondly
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,some
people
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 think
intelligence
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 can not be measured by getting
success
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.Comparatively,
Intelligence
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 has different parameters,For some
people
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intelligence
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 means helping poor
people
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 in
Add an article
the
a
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local community or through some charities,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 in today's fast lifestyle public
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
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 that spending time with their family and loved ones is equal to
success
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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 who don't want to take shortcuts in earning
money
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 and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 time with family that doesn't mean that they are
no
Correct your spelling
not
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 successful.
For example
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,famous actor
rajnikant
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Rajnikant
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 donates nearly 80% of his income
in
Change preposition
to
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 charities, and welfare association which leads to happiness, respect and true humanity, in
this
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 fake world ,which
make
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makes
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 him successful in different
ways
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.
To conclude
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,
success
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 and
intelligence
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depends
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depend
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 on human personality,
in addition
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 to,sometimes successful
people
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 are arrogant in nature and brilliancy can be seen in various
ways
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. In my opinion,
intelligence
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 can be measured in various parameters.
Submitted by vfxabhii on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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