Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

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These days,there is no doubt that people had

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

longer

Replace the word

long

show examples

hours of

work

Use synonyms

than having

time

Use synonyms

to relax. While

this

Linking Words

offers a few advantages, there

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are

show examples

also

Linking Words

some disadvantages which

worth

Add a missing verb

are worth

show examples

considering. The is two main benefits for working long hour.

Firstly

Linking Words

, through

work

Use synonyms

longer hours you gain promotion for your company. When employee, always

work

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hard and not noticing the

time

Use synonyms

accumalate

Correct your spelling

accumulate

, can gain instant promotion for being hardworking.

Secondly

Linking Words

, through

promotion

Add a comma

,promotion

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you can gain

higher

Add an article

a higher

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salary. When

your

Replace the word

you're

you are

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being promoted

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a certain higher position they will increase your compensation.

On the other hand

Linking Words

various

Add an article

the various

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drawback

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drawbacks

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may be noted. In the

first

Linking Words

place, working for longer can lead you to

burn out

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burnout

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and stress.

This

Linking Words

will lead you to have

a health problems

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health problems

a health problem

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like heart

attack

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attacks

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and panic attacks. According to

study

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a study

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, people need to balance

there

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their

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life, working and leisure

time

Use synonyms

, to have a healthy life.

Additionally

Linking Words

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

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useless to have a lot of money if

your

Replace the word

you're

you are

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not going to enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life and use it wisely for your

Correct your spelling

own

show examples

Correct your spelling

own

show examples

good. In conclusion, having

Correct article usage

apply

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unlimited

time

Use synonyms

of working can lead you

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

position and money.

Howerver

Correct your spelling

However

, it will lead you to have a health problem and you cannot expend your money well.

Therefore

Linking Words

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to weigh the benefits

againts

Correct your spelling

against

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

carefully before coming to a decision as to whether people should

work

Use synonyms

longer hours.

Submitted by maryaizee_14 on Mon Oct 18 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

229 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

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