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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
These days,there is no doubt that
people
 had long hours of
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a task
the task
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task
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tasks
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 than having
moment
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a moment
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 to relax.
People
 are busy doing money and
promotion
 and forget that
life
 should be balanced to have good
health
. While
this
 offers a few advantages, there are
also
 some disadvantages which are worth considering. There are two main benefits
for
Change preposition
to
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 working long
hour
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hours
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.
Firstly
, through long hours of work, you gain
promotion
 from your company. When employee, always work hard and not noticing the time they accumulate, can gain instant
promotion
 for being hardworking.
Secondly
, through,
promotion
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the promotion
a promotion
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 you can gain a higher salary. When you are being promoted to a certain higher position they will increase your compensation.
On the other hand
, the various drawbacks may be noted. In the
first
 place, working for longer can lead you to burnout and stress.
This
 will lead you to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
health problems
a health problem
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health
 problems like heart attacks and panic attacks. According to a study,
people
 need to balance their
life
, working and leisure time, to have a healthy
life
.
Additionally
, it is useless to have a lot of money if you are not going to enjoy
life
 and use it wisely for your own good. In conclusion, having
unlimited
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the unlimited
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 time of working can lead you
a
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to a
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higher position and money.
However
, it will lead you to have a
health
 problem and you will spend on your
health
.
Therefore
, it's necessary to weigh the benefits against drawbacks carefully before coming to a decision as to whether
people
 should work longer hours.
Submitted by maryaizee_14 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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