IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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These days,there is no doubt that
people
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 had long
hours
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 of
work
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 than having a moment to relax.
People
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 are busy doing money and
promotion
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 and forget that
life
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 should be balanced to have good
health
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. While
this
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 offers a few advantages, there are
also
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 some disadvantages which are worth considering. There are two main benefits to working long
hours
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.
Firstly
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, through long
hours
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 of
work
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, you gain
promotion
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 from your company. When employee, always
work
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 hard and not noticing the time they accumulate, can gain instant
promotion
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 for being hardworking.
Secondly
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,
through
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 , the
promotion
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 you can gain a higher salary. When you are being promoted to a certain higher position they will increase your compensation.
On the other hand
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, the various drawbacks may be noted. In the
first
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 place, working for longer can lead you to burnout and stress.
This
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 will lead you to have
health
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 problems like heart attacks and panic attacks. According to a study,
people
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 need to balance their
life
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, working and leisure time, to have a healthy
life
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.
Additionally
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, it is useless to have a lot of money if you are not going to enjoy your
life
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 and spend it wisely for your own good. In conclusion, having
Add an article
the
show examples
unlimited time
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
work
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 can lead to getting a higher position easily and a lot
Add the preposition
of
show examples
money.
However
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, it will lead you to have a
health
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 problem and you will spend on your
health
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.
Therefore
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, it is necessary to weigh the benefits against drawbacks carefully before coming to a decision as to whether
people
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 should
work
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 longer
hours
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.
Submitted by maryaizee_14 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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