Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#men #women

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The

Correct article usage

Competitive

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competitive

Replace the word

Competition

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is a feature that has become increasingly present among people. Not only in the past but

also

Linking Words

in the present day it is able to promote an unfair race between

men

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and

women

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. Some people believe that

this

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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is much more present in

men

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and I totally agree with the assumption.

First

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and foremost, society

tend

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tends

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to see

men

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as a natural competitor since they are considered stronger.

For instance

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, in the past, they were seen as providers to the family,

in other words

Linking Words

, they needed to hunt and fight to maintain a house.

Although

Linking Words

nowadays the ideas and facts are different and are in constant changes, they continue competitive since society created these ideas about them and the job

labor

Change the spelling

labour

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keep

this

Linking Words

competition among them.

Secondly

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, different from

men

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women

Use synonyms

were always seen as

Correct article usage

apply

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fragile. Whereas

men

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were strong and full of stamina and bravery,

women

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were and until today are considered weak and without

ability

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the ability

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to make successful decisions.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

type of mindful enhances the idea that

about

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apply

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male ones

Add a missing verb

are more

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competitive

female

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than female

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ones. Take as an example the difficulty faced by

women

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to move up the career ladder.

Finally

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, biologically speaking the male sex presents a high concentration of testosterone, which is a type of sex hormone, related to different types of

behavior

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behaviour

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Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

hormone can be associate

Change preposition

with

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aggressiveness.

For example

Linking Words

, some international research demonstrates that the presence of testosterone,

ten

Add a hyphen

ten-time

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time

Change to a plural noun

times

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higher in

men

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, can promote a style of

life

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much more aggressive and competitive. Another vital fact about

this

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is that during elderhood the concentration of

this

Linking Words

hormone diminishes potentially,

in other words

Linking Words

men

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became calmer when they are elderly. In conclusion, the presence of competition between both genders is a natural process of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, due to facts and ideas imposed by society,

men

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tend to be much more competitive. Not only in the private

life

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

in the

work

Add a hyphen

work-life

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life

Use synonyms

since a prestigious career is seen as a symbol of success.

Submitted by larissafelipin on Mon Oct 18 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

337 words

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Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicss both view and give our opinion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?