Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#men #women

The

Correct article usage

Competitive

show examples

competitive

Replace the word

Competition

show examples

is a feature that has become increasingly present among people. Not only in the past but

also

in the present day it is able to promote an unfair race between

men

and

women

. Some people believe that

this

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is much more present in

men

and I totally agree with the assumption.

First

and foremost, society

tend

Change the verb form

tends

show examples

to see

men

as a natural competitor since they are considered stronger.

For instance

, in the past, they were seen as providers to the family,

in other words

, they needed to hunt and fight to maintain a house.

Although

nowadays the ideas and facts are different and are in constant changes, they continue competitive since society created these ideas about them and the job

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

keep

this

competition among them.

Secondly

, different from

men

women

were always seen as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fragile. Whereas

men

were strong and full of stamina and bravery,

women

were and until today are considered weak and without

ability

Add an article

the ability

show examples

to make successful decisions.

Therefore

this

type of mindful enhances the idea that

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

male ones

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

competitive

female

Change preposition

than female

show examples

ones. Take as an example the difficulty faced by

women

to move up the career ladder.

Finally

, biologically speaking the male sex presents a high concentration of testosterone, which is a type of sex hormone, related to different types of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Moreover

this

hormone can be associate

Change preposition

with

show examples

aggressiveness.

For example

, some international research demonstrates that the presence of testosterone,

ten

Add a hyphen

ten-time

show examples

time

Change to a plural noun

times

show examples

higher in

men

, can promote a style of

life

much more aggressive and competitive. Another vital fact about

this

is that during elderhood the concentration of

this

hormone diminishes potentially,

in other words

men

became calmer when they are elderly. In conclusion, the presence of competition between both genders is a natural process of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

However

, due to facts and ideas imposed by society,

men

tend to be much more competitive. Not only in the private

life

but

also

in the

work

Add a hyphen

work-life

show examples

life

since a prestigious career is seen as a symbol of success.

Submitted by larissafelipin on Mon Oct 18 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

337 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
At the present, the population of some countires includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
it is widely accepted that the number of eldery community have been rising in some countries, especially high developed countries, Japan and Korea as wella as America. this brought significant issue both in adults and young people. as for many popularity have a tremendous implications to caregiving, while some undeveloped countries such as Africa have been increasing number of residents. in these situations, the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.
5
band
Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is the subject of discussion that whether sports events, whose people watch largely from all parts of the globe, increase the practice of exercise on a regular basis or there are better options. In my opinion, the population will not do more sport just by watching events and other ways are needed.
5.5
band
Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
An increase in crimes in countries has a great effect on resident security. some people believe the prevention of crimes is the responsibility of the government, while some argue and think it is the individuals’ responsibility. I will explain both views and express my opinion.
5.5
band
You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months -say how you work could be done while you are away -ask for his-her help in arranging it
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request for I would like to work in our head office in Toronto for six months.
5
band
Some people think that secondary schools should spend less time teaching traditional subjects like history and spend more time on teaching subjects like communication skills and business. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Some people suggest that in high schools should take more time on the practical lessons like interpersonal relationship and business. Meantime, schools should reduce cultuarl subjects like history. In my views, I disagree this point. The traditional subjects and practical lessons both important to improving students skills and literacy, it's fair to balance the time to traditional and practical lessons.

Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At the present, the population of some countires includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that secondary schools should spend less time teaching traditional subjects like history and spend more time on teaching subjects like communication skills and business. Do you agree or disagree with this view?