IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

For many, shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others. People, however, in the past mostly visited those when necessary. To what extent do you think this is a negative trend?

Many families these days are visiting shopping places not only to buy things but
also
Linking Words
 to be joyful with their families or friends
Punctuation problem
, comparing
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comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to the
past
Punctuation problem
past,
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 where people could not decide to go to shopping centres unless they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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 to buy or sell necessities. In my view, I think
this
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 trend is negative for two reasons
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
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this
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essay
Punctuation problem
essay,
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 I will outline
this
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 topic and the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why I consider it
as
Change preposition
apply
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a negative trend. First of all, markets are not the right place for spending spare time because they are only designed
to shop
Change preposition
for shopping
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 and
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
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.
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in
Fix capitalization
In
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 other words, spending
pleasure
Use the right word
leisure
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 hours in nature is more peaceful and
away
Rephrase
apply
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better than being in the middle of noisy and crowded
persons
Check wording
people
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.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
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 example, local parks or open green spaces are ideal places to meet relatives and friends because of the calmness that you would
found
Wrong verb form
find
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.
On the other hand
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, the main factor to consider is usually shopping malls are
Rephrase
usually in
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in limited
Correct word order
limited in
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 size to match the potential consumers.
This
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is
Verb problem
apply
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means
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 it is for shoppers only
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 for spending leisure moments.
it
Fix capitalization
It
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 would lead to much more crowded inside a little space
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 people continue
spent
Verb problem
to spend
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 their off-work life in the plaza.
For instance
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, most shopping places are only for buying brands with no more
spots
Check wording
space
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 to play or
sitting
Wrong verb form
sit
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.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 conclusion, the negative trend of spending leisure moments in shopping centres is
due to
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 the lack of connection between individuals and nature.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 addition
to
Change preposition
apply
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, the size of malls
which is not allowed
Verb problem
prevents
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 communities
to spend
Change preposition
from spending
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 time
expect
Use the right word
except
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 for shopping

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Use four parts: intro, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has one main idea.
content
Make your point clear. Say your view in the first sentence of the intro and restate it in the end.
grammar
Use only simple and correct grammar. Check for capital letters, periods, and short lines.
development
Give more details or examples to back up your ideas.
content
The essay states a clear view that malls are not good for leisure.
cohesion
Some linking words are used to connect ideas.
content
There is contrast with the past time, which shows effort to compare.
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