IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some places, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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These days fast
food
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 get popular among people. Most of the stores sell them at a reasonable price.In my ,opinion fast
food
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 has the potential to damage our
health
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 are greater than the benefits that we receive to eat fast
food
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. On the one hand, there are some benefits to use fast
food
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 .
firstly
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, it prepares quickly so
instead
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 of spending a lot of time making
food
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 in the kitchen like in past, it might save our time for other reasons.
For example
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, we may be more productive in the workplace because thinking about what should we make for lunch, dinner or other meals distract our energy from focusing on work to other things.
Also
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,we could spend more time with my family or any persons who love them
such
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 as our kids or friends.
secondly
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, the fast-
food
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 industry is one of the biggest entrepreneurs in the world. millions of people are working in
this
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 industry and earn money. for ,example many international students are working in fast
food
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 for the
first
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 year of study and pay their university tuition via
this
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 kind of job .
As a result
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,fast
food
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 has advantages that we shouldn't ignore .
On the other hand
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,there are several reasons why fast
food
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 is harmful to our
health
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.
firstly
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, it has full of fat and calories.so it often causes of gaining weight.
for example
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 in one Macdonald's cheeseburger has a 600-kilocalories fat
that is
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 too high in fronts of healthy
food
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 like salad or fruits. most fast
food
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 has a high salt that causes blood pressure. I remember whenever my mother eat fast
food
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, her blood pressure went up and sometimes we had to call an emergency helper.high fat in fast
food
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 is a cause of high
clostrol
Correct your spelling
control
 in people and cause of heart attack.so
health
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 problem is more important than other aspects of fast-
food
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 advantages. in conclusion, while fast
food
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 has an advantage especially for entrepreneurs but their damages is more effective in our
health
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.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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