Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

#illness #death #world #interest #health #governments #ban #cigarettes #tobacco #products

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The major source of serious

illness

and

death

in the whole world nowadays is smoking.

Therefore

, in regard to public health,cigarettes and other

tobacco

products

should be prohibited.I agree that smoking is a danger to human health and should be prohibited.

Firstly

,those people who smoke usually do not have the repercussion in mind towards their health from smoking habits and

thus

continue making a daily trend

however

lowering their body immune which they end up having serious

illness

and

death

In addition

,the

government

has established smoking zones

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are underutilized

although

not in all town

centre

Fix the agreement mistake

centres

show examples

consequently

putting the public at risk so the other alternative is prohibiting cigarettes and other

tobacco

products

For example

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research done by the Nairobi university shows that 80% of lung cancer cases are caused by smoking.

Therefore

,it is imperative for the

government

to put

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strict measures on smoking to reduce serious

illness

and

death

in the community.

Secondly

,companies that produce

tobacco

should have a strict policy that stands for the safety of the public since

this

company create employment

therefore

cannot be done away with but on alternative be supported.

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

tobacco

products

should be highly taxed to reduce frequent intake by people as they will be expensive.

For example

in Rwanda,

tobacco

products

are 70% taxed and since

then

Rwanda has had the lowest cases of lung cancer.For

this

, reason the

government

has a big role in the prevention of

illness

and

death

in the community To conclude,people have a big role to play in

prevention

Add an article

the prevention

show examples

of serious

illness

and

death

by stopping to smoke while the

government

follow adherence to prohibited smocking

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Tue Oct 19 2021

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

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