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Band 4

Learning to play team sports is an important part of a child's education. Do you agree or disagree?

#team #sports #part #child #education
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Schools
 not only teach academic subjects but
also
 make
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
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participate in different physical activities and
sports
 as part of the
curiculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
.
In addition
 to individual
sports
such
 as running,
children
 should be trained to play
team
games
such
 as football and basketball too. Learning to participate in
group
 activities will establish
team
 culture in their mind as well as make them enjoy
sports
. Having
team
 spirit is vital. We,
Correct your spelling
human beings
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human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
, cannot avoid being in groups to
work
 towards a certain goal together.
Therefore
, we need to know how to and what to do as part of the
group
 so that the
group
 can operate in harmony to achieve the aim. Even among our family members, it makes things easier if all the family members
work
hand-in-hand
Correct your spelling
hand in hand
show examples
.
Additionally
, we are usually supposed to
work
 in teams at
work
. Those who do not know how to adjust themselves in the organization will not enjoy working at all.
Such
 a precious life skill can be trained simply by allowing
children
participate
Fix the infinitive
to participate
show examples
 in
group
games
 at
schools
. Encouraging
children
 to
play
Correct your spelling
playgroup
show examples
group
games
 can indirectly help to reduce obesity in
children
. Modern
children
 tend to stick to their mobile phones
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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; it makes them gain weight.
Although
 it can be difficult to persuade
children
 to stay active on their own, it is easier to make them move together with their friends.
Hence
,
children
 who
enjoys
Change the verb form
enjoy
show examples
 playing outdoor
team
sports
 will enjoy themselves and can stay active at the same time. So,
schools
 should include
group
games
 for
children
 as part of their physical activities training. To conclude, I am in total agreement with
schools
 allowing
children
 to participate in
group
sports
, for it will teach the
children
 a great lesson for life and
also
 attribute to the
children
's physical health.
Submitted by Wai on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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