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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #health
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It cannot be denied that
health
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 is the topmost priority in an individual's life. Few people think that
schools
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 do not put much effort in teaching
health
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 to
adoloscents
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adolescents
however
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 I would argue that today's education system is designed in
such
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 a manner that
health
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 is the matter of greatest importance to everyone. Primarily,
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school
Correct article usage
the school
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 curriculum involves mandatory sports and
health
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 lectures
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 prioritize
well-being
Add an article
the well-being
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 of
children
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.
For example
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 - various types of fitness sports like swimming, basketball, volleyball and others are being added to the syllabus so that
children
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 can remain fit.
As a result
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, students can spend
certain
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a certain
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 amount of their
school
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 time
in
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apply
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playing these sports and
also
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 maintain good overall fitness.
Therefore
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,
schools
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 play a significant role in creating awareness about
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of good
health
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 to
children
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.
Additionally
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, many
schools
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 have a strict no "
outisde
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outside
 food" policy to divert the focus towards
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 diet.
For example
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 - many working parents are unable to cook breakfast for their
children
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 and thereby, encourage snacks or fast foods as a means to skip an additional task for the day for them. When
children
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 will have to necessarily eat
school
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's allocated meal, they will be diverted to
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 diet automatically.
Consequently
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, it will bring a positive change in the daily routine of the
children
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.
Therefore
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,
school
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's teachings about
health
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 are not only limited to books but
also
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 apply
in
Change preposition
to
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 the actual life of kids. To conclude, we cannot deny that more efforts towards
health
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 education in the form of funding and education are needed in
schools
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however
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 it would be unfair to say that
schools
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 are not doing much to inculcate the advantages of fitness in kids.
Submitted by harpreet.sehgal1989 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health education
  • Curriculum
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Hygiene
  • Practical skills
  • Responsibility
  • Collaboration
  • Long-term benefits
  • Reduced healthcare costs
  • Academic performance
  • Well-being
  • Comprehensive health programs
  • Positive outcomes
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