Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health? Do you agree or disagree?

It cannot be denied that

health

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is the topmost priority in an individual's life. Few people think that

schools

Use synonyms

do not put much effort in teaching

health

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adoloscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

however

Linking Words

I would argue that today's education system is designed in

such

Linking Words

a manner that

health

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is the matter of greatest importance to everyone. Primarily,

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school

Correct article usage

the school

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curriculum involves mandatory sports and

health

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lectures

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

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prioritize

well-being

Add an article

the well-being

show examples

children

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

- various types of fitness sports like swimming, basketball, volleyball and others are being added to the syllabus so that

children

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can remain fit.

As a result

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, students can spend

certain

Change the article

a certain

show examples

amount of their

school

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time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing these sports and

also

Linking Words

maintain good overall fitness.

Therefore

Linking Words

schools

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play a significant role in creating awareness about

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

of good

health

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children

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Additionally

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, many

schools

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have a strict no "

outisde

Correct your spelling

outside

food" policy to divert the focus towards

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

diet.

For example

Linking Words

- many working parents are unable to cook breakfast for their

children

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and thereby, encourage snacks or fast foods as a means to skip an additional task for the day for them. When

children

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will have to necessarily eat

school

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's allocated meal, they will be diverted to

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

diet automatically.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it will bring a positive change in the daily routine of the

children

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Therefore

Linking Words

school

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's teachings about

health

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are not only limited to books but

also

Linking Words

apply

Change preposition

show examples

the actual life of kids. To conclude, we cannot deny that more efforts towards

health

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education in the form of funding and education are needed in

schools

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however

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it would be unfair to say that

schools

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are not doing much to inculcate the advantages of fitness in kids.

harpreet.sehgal1989

Oct 19, 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Health education
Curriculum
Healthy lifestyle
Diet
Exercise
Mental health
Hygiene
Practical skills
Responsibility
Collaboration
Long-term benefits
Reduced healthcare costs
Academic performance
Well-being
Comprehensive health programs
Positive outcomes

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