IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

While your friend was away on vacation, you stayed in his apartment. While you were there, you dropped an expensive bowl and broke it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, - explain what happened - apologise for the accident - tell your friend what you plan to do about the bowl

#friend #vacation #apartment #bowl #apologise #accident #plan
Dear Bea, How are you,hope your vacation
doing
Correct your spelling
going
show examples
 well. I am very thankful to let me stay
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 your
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
. It was a big help
while
 I
am
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 searching
my
Change preposition
for my
show examples
 new house and it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 easy to pass by
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. I am writing
this
 letter to
informed
Change the form of the verb
inform
show examples
 you regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
your expensive
bowl
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 know that
bowl
 has sentimental value
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 you and it was your
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
bowl
,plus your
grandmother
Change noun form
grandmother's
show examples
 gift. To make my story short,I accidentally split on the floor
while
 holding your
bowl
 and luckily I cannot save that
bowl
 and it is having a slight crack on the side. I sincerely
appoligise
Correct your spelling
apologise
apologize
 for my
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 and for being clumsy.Now I do not know how to face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you I
really
Add a missing verb
am really
show examples
 timid that's why I
write
Wrong verb form
am writing
show examples
 and
informed
Wrong verb form
informing
show examples
 you in advance. By the
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 I still fixed the
bowl
 and I kept
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your display box,
although
 you cannot use
this
 at least we can keep it.Do not worry I already buy a new one for the
atlernative
Correct your spelling
alternative
 even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar and it is not
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 sentimental as the old one. Hoping
your
Change preposition
for your
show examples
 forgiveness. And see you soon, I miss
to bond
Verb problem
apply
show examples
you.Enjoyed the single moment of your vacation. Regards, Shiela
Submitted by ding on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: