SOME SCHOOL LEAVERS TEND TO GO TRAVELLING OR WORK A PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE GOING TO UNIVERSITY. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#school #leavers #work #period #time #university #trend

Nowadays, there are a number of

students

who graduate from high

school

want

Correct pronoun usage

who want

show examples

to take a gap before joining higher education. In my view,

this

will bring both

positivies

Correct your spelling

positives

positive

and drawbacks

effetcs

Correct your spelling

effects

students

. On the

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

hand, there are vast of benefits of travelling or working for

school

leavers before getting the

university

Firstly

, moving forward to travel or work will help

students

identify their major. Some pupils do not know

extactly

Correct your spelling

exactly

which major they want to join or like in

college

university

Therefore

, they want to try in some workplaces to identify about major. For

instead

, some young

students

boths

Correct your spelling

both

marketing and

phamamcy

Correct your spelling

pharmacy

, but they worry about which major will have a well paid after they graduate. After taking a year to

voluntering

Correct your spelling

volunteering

for both majors, they feel that

phamacy

Correct your spelling

pharmacy

bring a well

financail

Correct your spelling

financial

and marketing help them more confidences.

Secondly

, some

students

want to be independent by paying all

school

fees

withoput

Correct your spelling

without

the parent's

supporting

Replace the word

support

show examples

. Those who work before studying in academic not only gain more

knowleges

Correct your spelling

knowledge

but

also

have a certain amount of

money

to cover the

univeristy

Correct your spelling

university

fees.

Therefore

, they will not pressure about

financial

Replace the word

finances

show examples

when

staring

Correct your spelling

starting

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college

uniersity

Correct your spelling

university

Besides

, after a long high

school

journey, they need some moments to refresh their brain and gain new

knowlegdes

Correct your spelling

knowledge

On the other hand

, taking the travelling or working before going to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college

also

have some

disavantages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

. They will be distracted by

money

or working. After joining with travelling or working, they feel that spending

time

vollege

Correct your spelling

college

university

is wasted

time

money

. While working brings for them more reality social skills which do not have at schools and more

money

, they can use

these

Change the determiner

this money

show examples

money

to do whatever they want. The academic is not

only

Add an article

the only

show examples

way to get

sucess

Correct your spelling

success

and

these

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not

guranted

Correct your spelling

guaranteed

with any jobs after finishing

college

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

. Nowadays, the recruits company always seek for those who have

experiences

Change the verb form

experienced

show examples

, if they spend all

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

with study during the

college

time

, they will not have experiences. Which means they will become unemployees or struggle with looking

jobs

Change preposition

for jobs

show examples

. In conclusion, while taking a

taking a

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

gap year to go other places or try on some jobs before taking the

university

will help

students

understanable

Correct your spelling

understandable

about major, these make them feel boring if

continuning

Correct your spelling

continuing

higher education.

Submitted by hoapham291199 on Tue Oct 19 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

389 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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SOME SCHOOL LEAVERS TEND TO GO TRAVELLING OR WORK A PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE GOING TO UNIVERSITY. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Machines are taking over more and more jobs previously done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.