Obesity is serious problem in many countries,especially in rich countries.Discuss ways to solve the problem.provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer

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Introduction

Being overweight is one of the major challenges facing many nations,seen majorly in wealthy states.

Therefore

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this

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essay is going to point out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

various means of solving overweight issues.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with,Education to the public is essential because

this

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will enlighten the population on various ways that can help them reduce

obesity

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Therefore

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,knowledge is the power to make individuals decide on life important measures on reducing overweight.

For instance

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,education on encouraging daily exercises will allow the individuals to reduce the level of calories that individual have daily.

In addition

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change

Correct article usage

a change

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of lifestyle will

also

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help reduce

obesity

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this

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will include eating healthy meals because many junk

foods

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are associated with excess calories in the body which are the vital means of adding weight to an individual.

For example

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, recent research done by Kenyatta University showed that 90% of obese clients were

as a result

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of increased intake of excessive caloric content.

Thus

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,watching what goes in is important in reducing weight.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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,The

government

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should

also

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play an important role in eliminating

obesity

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among the population,

this

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is possible through establishing

obesity

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clinics within the

government

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health centres in order to provide affordable services to those who are affected and

also

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provide treatment to

obesity

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-related illness.

For example

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, the

Obesity

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clinic

situated

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is situated

show examples

at Kenyatta National Hospital.

Thus

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,many satellite clinics will be helpful for the public members to improve their health status.Another way of preventing

obesity

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is by the

government

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encouraging organic farming rather the genetically modified

foods

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Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

genetically modified

foods

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are associated with excess intake of calories

thus

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resulting in overweight.

For example

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,recent research on causes of

obesity

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showed that 80% of

obesity

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were

as a result

Linking Words

of genetically modified

foods

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Therefore

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,the state has to constitute measures that

helps

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help

show examples

the general public.

Conclusion

In conclusion,solving problems with

obesity

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is a collective responsibility of both individual measures to reduce the causes of

obesity

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and

also

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the

government

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should provide a helping hand in helping the members of the public to overcome the challenges.

Sabina Hamisi

Oct 20, 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Obesity is serious problem in many countries,especially in rich countries.Discuss ways to solve the problem.provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Some students agree that internet-based lectures is better type lectures. The other students tend to believe that university-based lectures is still needed. Explain your opinion for both sides of the view.

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this ia unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.