Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness others however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #factor #happiness

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It is often debated whether

money

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can bring

happiness

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to your

life

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. It is not always necessary that a rich

person

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is happy: you can buy a lot of things with

money

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but

happiness

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is something which cannot be bought. One can feel

happiness

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while

Linking Words

sipping a cup of tea sitting on their balcony or reading a favourite book;

therefore

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, in my opinion,

money

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is not directly related to

happiness

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Firstly

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, a rich

person

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who has

money

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can buy all the materialistic things and may seem to be happy but it does not imply that a poor

person

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is not happy.

Moreover

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, a

person

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who is always busy earning

money

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and travelling for business hardly gets time to spend with his family; as a

from

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apply

show examples

result neither he nor his family is happy.

On the contrary

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, a poor farmer is happy with less

money

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because he spends time and enjoys meals with his children.

For instance

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, in

India

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India,

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70% of people have the desire for

money

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to live a luxurious

life

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happy

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apply

show examples

Secondly

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, there are many people suffering from health issues

due to

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loneliness,

depression

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and depression

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because they have no one to share their thoughts and feelings with. Some of them are so busy working that they hardly get time to talk to their parents or close friends. On the flip side, a

person

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who lives with their parents and has friends is able to cope

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apply

show examples

with bad times quickly. It is very important for every one of us to interact with someone whom we love because it gives us internal

happiness

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and satisfaction that there is someone who cares for us.

While

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I admit

money

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is important it has no meaning in some aspects of

life

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. In conclusion,

money

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is required to fulfil our basic needs like shelter, food, clothing, etc. but it is not the utmost factor that can constitute

happiness

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. Parents, family,

friends

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and friends

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are more important in a

person

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’s

life

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to give internal

happiness

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and they cannot be bought with

money

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Submitted by Sumit on Wed Oct 20 2021

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improvement

Develop your main points with more specific examples to support your opinions and make your ideas more cohesive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness others however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution.

In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their family and the society so working long hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?