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Band 5

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence.

#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #governments #citizens #support #arguments #evidence
Availing
basic
Change preposition
of basic
show examples
 needs
such
 as food and
education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is every human's right. Whether provided by their own government or aid from the rich nation.
However
, it is
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to take care of their own
people
 rather than
reying
Correct your spelling
relying
 on others.
One
 rich
country
 can share their resources with the
one
 who is in need at the time of crisis.
Nevertheless
,
one
 nation can not totally depend on the other for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic necessities
such
 as food or
education
. Each
country
 has their own budget for providing facilities
such
 as
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
,government
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 with affordable fees, etc to their
people
 and
one
 can not cut down from them to provide others.
For example
,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 is
one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 wealthy nations compared to Bhutan. But
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 will not provide every now and
then
 unless it is an emergency, as they need to look after their own nation's requirements too. Rather, the poor
country
 should ask for the options and advice from growing countries, through which it can generate more employment and income and so
people
 can easily procure the
education
 for their kids and at least meal for two times. Due to the fact that you will receive
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 for twice or max three times but no
country
 would keep helping you for your day to day life.
For example
,
although
 Bhutan is the poorest
country
, it can ask
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how they utilise electronic gadgets to provide
education
 online and not money from them for the same.
Same
Add an article
The same
show examples
 way they can ask another
country
 for employment options to create more jobs for their
people
. In conclusion,
individual
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 should think of their own
people
 how to keep them happy meeting their daily needs.
Submitted by brijal_desai on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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