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Writing Samples
Band 4

Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for the health. The government must find a way to reduce this type of stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#hours #stress #health #government #type
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Everybody knows that
stress
 is bad for
workers
' health. But whose fault is that? It is my submission and that it is the government role to intervene through legislation and support
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 to tackle
this
 issue.
Stress
 in the workplace comes from long working
hours
. In modern societies,
workers
 are well-connected. In some
work
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
,
workers
 are expected to be reachable even outside of their contractual working
hours
. Competition among employees in the workplace doesn't help. As an employee, it is natural to want to advance in his career.It means he must
work
 hard at his job, sometimes going above and beyond his normal call of duty.All of
this
 produces
stress
.
Stress
also
 comes from having a poor boss. Unfair treatment at
work
 is one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 many
workers
 quit as they cannot cope with the
stress
.
Stress
 affects many aspects of a
persons
Change the noun form
person
show examples
 health, both physically and psychologically. The negative effects of
stress
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 well known.A person may lose concentration at
work
, Miss handle his tasks. He may be irritable and poison the atmosphere at
work
. The government has a role to play in promoting healthy habits.In many countries in Europe, by law,
workers
 must not
work
 for more than a certain number of
hours
 each week.
Such
 policies set a framework to reduce, avoid long working
hours
, thereby protecting
workers
 or well-being in general, and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 reduce
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 illnesses. It has been observed that
stress
 level is higher in corporate Asia.In highly competitive economies like Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan and South Korea,
workers
 routinely
work
 overtime. Chronic overwork is a major cause of
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
stress
. The situation and ends up costing the company and the economy in terms of
workers
 health and long-term medical treatment for
stress
. It is believed that if the government of these Asian countries follow the footsteps of their European counterparts and put
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
into law labour policies and at looking after
work
 as well-being, there will be an overall reduction in
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 illnesses and absenteeism, with a net positive effect on the economy.
Submitted by Andy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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