the culture of different countries are becoming increasingly similar, so there is no point for people to go travelling abroad for they could have the same experience at home. Do you agree or disagree?

#culture #countries #point #people #home

The meaning of overseas travels has been increasingly significant in a

fast moving

Add a hyphen

fast-moving

show examples

and dynamic society. The question here is whether could

people

enjoy the same experience at home when different countries’ culture is getting more similar.

However

, I state my view that it is impossible for

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

to have the same feelings. On the one hand, there are several reasons explaining why

people

will enjoy experiences being offered by travels.

Firstly

, the development of technologies may involve

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

issue.

For example

people

nowadays have a tendency to entertain from social media that connects citizens with different cultures all around the world, which make social media user interest in the new heritage,

such

as enjoying Korean cuisine in Vietnam.

Furthermore

, teenagers have been trying to imitate their foreign celebrities’

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

Therefore

, regional values may inevitably become popular across countries.

On the other hand

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

might undergo unique occasions in international nations. On the individual level, taking a journey plays an essential role

Change preposition

show examples

enriching visitors’ knowledge by directly touching

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

show examples

. On the macro level, the more

people

move to new countries, the more they will encounter

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

local ethos, perceptions, which contributes to the reduction of prejudices.

Consequently

, an external trip will be diminished by the

similar

Replace the word

similarities

show examples

in cultures among countries down the road. In conclusion,

although

the technological advancements offer

people

advantages without travelling, nonnative trips have more special and distinctive awareness. As a consequence,

this

not only helps

people

have a grasp of knowledge but

also

avoids cultural shocks.

Submitted by Andy on Thu Oct 21 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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the culture of different countries are becoming increasingly similar, so there is no point for people to go travelling abroad for they could have the same experience at home. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The diagrom shows the process by which sheep embryos are cloned. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features.

In some countries, many people choose to educate children at home by themselves instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

the government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planet. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money dressing the problems of people. To extend do you agree

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books . do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage.