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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many children these days have an unhealty lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

#children #unhealty #lifestyle #schools #parents
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Over time, the
type
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 of food products has increased. Every
type
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 of food is accessible, even if it includes harmful ingredients.
This
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 has a negative effect on
children
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's diet. For some aspects schools and
parents
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 have a considerable impact on
children
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's eating
habits
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. I definitely agree with
this
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 statement, and in
this
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 essay, I will explain why I think
this
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 way. In recent years, because of the high prices of needs, most mothers have to work to earn money to live. They do not have enough time to prepare meals, which results in a rise in eating instant foods like soup.
Moreover
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, they have to order junk food because it is time-efficient. Mostly, these
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type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of products
have
Change the verb form
has
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 harmful ingredients. What I mean is that
children
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's eating
habits
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 are directly dependent on their
parents
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.
Thus
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,
parents
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 have great importance in it. I believe that they have to pay more attention to their
children
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's diet. When
children
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 grow up, they spend most of their time in
school
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. Because of
this
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,
school
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 canteens have an incredible effect on
children
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's health, as well.
Children
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 can buy unhealthy foods with their pocket money even if they do not allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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 anyone.
Moreover
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, they share their meals with their friends.
Thus
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,
school
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 managers are responsible for organising
school
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 canteens. I think
,
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apply
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 teachers must teach students what
type
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 of foods they must eat for their health. Overall,
parents
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 and schools can influence
childrens'
Correct your spelling
children's
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 eating
habits
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. A child can learn
by
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from
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 their
parents
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 and mimic
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 parent's eating behaviour.
In addition
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, schools have an effect, too. Because
children
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's can have a chance to make their own choices. If
school
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's can sell healthier products,
children
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's will have a healthy diet and develop better eating
habits
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 in the future.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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