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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that the government should encourage industries and businesses to move from large cities to the countryside. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #government #industries #businesses #move #cities #countryside
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Many people feel that industries and trades should be transferred from metropolitan
areas
 to rural sites by the authorities. In my opinion, the merits outweigh the drawbacks. The foremost advantage of commercialization in villages is that it creates many better employment opportunities for rural people. The income of inhabitants in villages mainly depends on agriculture, so when extreme weather events
such
 as hurricanes, floods and earthquakes occur, severely
affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
 their jobs. Since they can’t do anything against the force of nature, they can only helplessly become unemployed. With the appearance of industries and
businesses
, villagers can solve their employment problems.
For example
, according to a 2019 survey in Vietnam, the unemployment rate in rural
areas
 is twice that of urban
areas
 and
this
 number is gradually improving. Another benefit is that difficult problems in the urban region will be solved. By locating
businesses
 in remote
areas
, there will be many good effects on the city
such
 as reducing overcrowding, traffic congestion and environmental pollution.
Although
, it has some demerits
also
. When companies and
businesses
 move their premises outside metropolises, environmental pollution will follow and have a heavy impact on the lives of
Replace the word
inhabitants
show examples
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
 and the ecosystem. If factories contaminate the environment, they will directly threaten the quality of life and health of people and destroy the habitat of living things. In conclusion, the advantages to
businesses
 relocating in more remote
areas
 seem to outweigh the disadvantages as it can benefit the local communities and the metropolitan
areas
.
However
, companies may face challenges
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 solving the issue of environmental contamination. Given
this
 situation, it seems that government should offer incentives to encourage companies to relocate to the countryside.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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