IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced.

#missions #space #earth #demand #attention
It has been over a decade since the two humans had stepped down to the moon and after
that is
 the history of
space
 industries.
Space
missions
 have become one of the important things that shall be done for the progress of humanity.
However
, it is undeniable that in the present day, there
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 have a
problem
 that needs to be fixed in the world but
space
missions
 still need to be one of the things that we cannot take our eyes off.
To begin
 with, I disagree with the statement above due to the following reason.
Firstly
, the
space
missions
 already have been planned for years, and if the plan has been cancelled, it will cause problems in the industry by having late progress and all the schedules will delay.
Secondly
, the
space
 industries already have an investment in the project that cannot be ignored.
Otherwise
, it will be a waste of money.
Lastly
,
space
missions
 are very important for humans in the future more than solving problems on the earth. Perhaps the best example is if there is a serious
problem
 on the earth that will make
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 cannot live on the earth, we can just move out to
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 planets that have been explored before.
Moreover
, I do believe that we can separate the organization to take control
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
missions
 and the
problem
. So, it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 necessary to let anything between the
missions
 and the
problem
 off. In summary, I cannot entirely agree with the statement due to the reasons and examples in the former and latter paragraphs.
Submitted by pondssp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: