IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believed that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #increases #crime #rates #police #streets #combat
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the past few decades
Add a comma
,
show examples
some countries have had difficulty controlling criminal activities. While some people suggest that ,an increase in the number of defence officers on the roads can reduce the crime rate. I partially agree with
this
 because rising
police
 means lower crime and
also
 need to create public awareness as well.
To begin
 with, there are some individuals who strongly believe that only
police
 forces can play
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
 role
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 jurisdiction of illegal activities.
For example
, during the high alert situation in Washington DC, the national defence service would mobilise extra
police
 officers to
control
 the hazardous situation within a limited time they
control
 everything.
Furthermore
, when a nation has more army force, it will be easier to
control
 every lawbreaker work as well as they can solve the cases on schedule.
For instance
, in Belgium increases policemen and policewomen in order to
control
 offensive work.
As a result
, the percentage of wrong deeds are going low day by day.
However
,
on the other hand
, to
control
 the movement of delinquents, the government should launch
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 awareness campaign in social media and in schools about the dangerous situation as well as the higher officials should offer the people to attain free self-defence workers . It
also
 has
also
have
Change the verb form
had
show examples
 long-run effects and
also
 helps to create a safe environment.
Hence
, in Korea, it is mandatory to get defence training
thus
, people can protect themselves by waiting for the
police
. To conclude, it is undeniable
police
 are playing a significant role to reduce crimes as well as we
also
 need to learn how to protect ourselves
Submitted by mahmuduts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: