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Band 6

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas
It is true that the
population
 of the
world
 have been increased and from the
Replace the word
social
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society
Add a comma
,society
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 perspective is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 controversial issue. While many reasons are blamed for
this
problem
, I believe that it is not the biggest
problem
 in the
world
. There is commonly argued that rising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 global
problem
 and
variety
Replace the word
various
show examples
factors
Change preposition
of factors
show examples
 are blamed for it. Fortunately, nowadays health service has been improved considerably. In the past, more than
two-
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
third
 of
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newborn
show examples
new born
Correct your spelling
newborn
show examples
bebies
Correct your spelling
babies
were died
Change to the active voice
died
have died
show examples
 and
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of amenities in the deprived areas
were
Change the verb form
was
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 blamed for it.
Moreover
, there were not any
drogs
Correct your spelling
drugs
 and treatments for
illneses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
illness
, so the death rate was higher than now.
However
, technology and education have developed and nowadays there are several hospitals, professional doctors and great
drogs
Correct your spelling
drugs
dogs
 and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 are available for people who suffer from diseases.
For instance
, in my hometown,
during
Change preposition
in
show examples
recent
Correct article usage
the recent
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decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
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 more than 10 hospitals have been constructed. Importantly, people would be able to expand their
horizone
Correct your spelling
horizons
horizon
 about their heath only with searching on the Internet. On the other side, In my standpoint, It is undeniable that the rate of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 has been soared but I think all societies have more serious issues than
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
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for example
 air and water pollution are more important than raising the
population
. If
Correct your spelling
government
gorvernment
Correct article usage
the gorvernment
show examples
 invested in facilities that humans need, the
population
 index would not be as important as other problems.
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
show examples
 It seems to me that
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
population
 is not serious,
by contrast
, it is highly beneficial. Probably, some laws should be taken into consideration by the government for controlling the birth rate. Tax can be a possible solution for it. To conclude, nowadays the
population
 of the
world
 is likely to
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 sharply,
although
 many humans and scientists believe that it is the greatest
problem
, I completely disagree with
this
 given statement.
Submitted by aminpost on

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