IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas
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It is true that the
population
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 of the
world
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 have been increased and from the
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social
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society
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,society
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 perspective is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 controversial issue. While many reasons are blamed for
this
Linking Words
problem
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, I believe that it is not the biggest
problem
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 in the
world
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. There is commonly argued that rising
the
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apply
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population
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 global
problem
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 and
variety
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various
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factors
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of factors
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 are blamed for it. Fortunately, nowadays health service has been improved considerably. In the past, more than
two-
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two-thirds
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third
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 of
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newborn
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new born
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newborn
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bebies
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babies
were died
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died
have died
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 and
lack
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the lack
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 of amenities in the deprived areas
were
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was
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 blamed for it.
Moreover
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, there were not any
drogs
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drugs
 and treatments for
illneses
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illnesses
illness
, so the death rate was higher than now.
However
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, technology and education have developed and nowadays there are several hospitals, professional doctors and great
drogs
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drugs
dogs
 and
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 are available for people who suffer from diseases.
For instance
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, in my hometown,
during
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in
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recent
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the recent
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decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
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 more than 10 hospitals have been constructed. Importantly, people would be able to expand their
horizone
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horizons
horizon
 about their heath only with searching on the Internet. On the other side, In my standpoint, It is undeniable that the rate of
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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 has been soared but I think all societies have more serious issues than
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population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
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for example
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 air and water pollution are more important than raising the
population
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. If
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government
gorvernment
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the gorvernment
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 invested in facilities that humans need, the
population
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 index would not be as important as other problems.
Linking Words
Consequently
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,Consequently
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 It seems to me that
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world's
Correct article usage
the world's
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population
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 is not serious,
by contrast
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, it is highly beneficial. Probably, some laws should be taken into consideration by the government for controlling the birth rate. Tax can be a possible solution for it. To conclude, nowadays the
population
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 of the
world
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 is likely to
raise
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rise
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 sharply,
although
Linking Words
 many humans and scientists believe that it is the greatest
problem
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, I completely disagree with
this
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 given statement.
Submitted by aminpost on

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