with the help of internet and television ,many people are becoming famous. Is this a positive or negative trend. Including examples.

#help #internet #television #people #trend

Mess media like t.v and net

providing

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

opportunities of being a

celebraty

Correct your spelling

celebrity

to the pupil who

use

Change the verb form

uses

show examples

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

This

became a current wave with merits and demerits ,which having an

effects

Correct the article-noun agreement

effect

show examples

larg

Correct your spelling

large

scale to the society we live. The idea of being renowned and

fame

Replace the word

famous

show examples

became an addiction to

this

generation who used to stay

Change preposition

show examples

virtual

Add an article

the virtual

show examples

world

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

real life.

This

concept of

clelebraty

Correct your spelling

celebrity

keep

Change the verb form

keeps

show examples

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

busy with making

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

videos or capturing news and views on their smartphone without concentrating on

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

doing which they should finish

Change preposition

show examples

time.

This

dependency

Change preposition

show examples

using

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

leads

Change preposition

to a

show examples

very unhappy family time with

Correct your spelling

unsuccessful

unsucessfull

Correct article usage

an unsucessfull

show examples

career ,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

mentel

Correct your spelling

mental

and physical health .

For instance

, if we see the

tiktok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

stars, who most of the time are busy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shooting

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

motions

then

doing

study

Add an article

a study

show examples

or household works or concentrating on

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

, reflect their addiction of being noted by

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

. They ,

insted

Correct your spelling

instead

of focusing on the real works of living, are after the unrealistic world fame . Recently Bangladesh

ban

Change the verb form

bans

show examples

this apps

Change the determiner

this app

these apps

show examples

, because of its

excesive

Correct your spelling

excessive

use of young star

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

being on

study

Add an article

the study

show examples

, shows the harmful side of the chance that

internet

and media providing to be a star. On the other side, the tendency of being

fashon

Correct your spelling

fashion

style sometimes gives people lucky chance which they are looking for and awaited for

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

. Many

diractors

Correct your spelling

directors

of t.v shows

sellect

Correct your spelling

select

their new faces with the help of

this

currently popular tendency of

shoot

Add an article

the shoot

a shoot

show examples

down him/her self. To illustrate , if we see the talent hunt programs of Bangladesh we easily can sum up the

cnances

Correct your spelling

chances

changes

chance

people getting from

televation

Correct your spelling

television

and

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

to light them up.

This

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

hidden skills of persons on air and provide the push they need to be well-known. Raising

super stars

Correct your spelling

superstars

show examples

is a perfect show of

this

kind

Correct your spelling

talent

telent

Change preposition

of telent

show examples

hunt program. on my view, it is a great platform to perform which offer

hope

Correct article usage

the hope

show examples

of being a star to the people who never imagine

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and make them confident

Change preposition

show examples

their skills. In conclusion,

although

inetrnet

Correct your spelling

internet

and t.v bestow human a

possiblities

Correct your spelling

possibilities

of expressing

themsleves

Correct your spelling

themselves

, we should not go with

flow

Add an article

the flow

show examples

and must have control on using

net

Add an article

the net

a net

show examples

and may not let it

over

Correct your spelling

overcome

show examples

come

Add the preposition

tocome

show examples

the

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

of us.

Submitted by alina.aphrodite on Sat Oct 23 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

378 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
SOME PEOPLE SAY HISTORY IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECTS. OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT IN TODAY’S WORLD, SUBJECT LIKE SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN HISTORY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.
Nowadays there are a variety of school subjects being taught, but there has been a debate on it. Some people believe that History should be taught as it is a principle subject, while others say that Science and Technology are the major ones. Personally, I believe both have their own importance, and both of the subjects should be taught.
4.5
band
Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30’s. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Humans live in the industrial era where it is more likely to see factories than a housing complex. This phenomenon pushes many individuals, especially young people, to continously live in the same roof with their parents even they are already pushing 30s. The majority say that the advantages outlay the disadvantages and this essay will further that view in the paragraphs below.
5
band
Some people say that globalization will lead to a loss of cultural identity. Others think that globalization will result in world peace and harmony. To what extent do you agree with either sentence?
The modern world is bringing the people closer and closer. It is widely believed that, this will be resulting in the disappearance of traditions and cultures, but others rate it as a source of peace and harmonious communities. Though it has adverse effects on cultures, the advantages of the society are much heavier, so, I agree with the positive side of the impacts.
6
band
Some people believe that social media sities such as facebook or twitter have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships others believe these sities are benefical
Due to advancements in ,technology a large number of social networking sites are available which makes a better way of communication for people, and they can talk across different parts of countries through Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp,while many people assert that it could be the negative approach for building the personal relationships among people.
7.5
band
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
People have widely differing views with regard to the question of whether the rising trend of communicating via technological devices come at the expense of face to face communication. From my perspective, although this trend has some obvious benefits, I would argue that there are more drawbacks.

with the help of internet and television ,many people are becoming famous. Is this a positive or negative trend. Including examples.

Fully explain your ideas

SOME PEOPLE SAY HISTORY IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECTS. OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT IN TODAY’S WORLD, SUBJECT LIKE SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN HISTORY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30’s. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that globalization will lead to a loss of cultural identity. Others think that globalization will result in world peace and harmony. To what extent do you agree with either sentence?

Some people believe that social media sities such as facebook or twitter have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships others believe these sities are benefical

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?