Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#women #childcare #men #focus #children #life

There is no denying that, in modern times, the number of working

women

has rapidly increased and it is evident that they are capable of managing their personal and professional life with excellence.

However

, others believe that ladies should only concentrate on raising children and doing household chores. I completely agree with the former statement and in

this

essay, I will support my view with examples. On the one hand, working in an organization especially in the corporate industry is a stiff job. We have to handle many tough situations and we even need to ignore our personal responsibilities, in order to complete the task within the deadline.

Additionally

, if a

woman

is having a kid,

then

she needs to take good care of her newborn and project assignments.

Moreover

, society expects that a

woman

should pay more attention to her family than her career. Nowadays, we have seen many

women

sacrificing their future, just to fulfil others expectations.

For instance

, many Hollywood heroines quit the entertainment industry after getting married.

However

, I strongly opine that it is completely dependent on a

woman

to decide whether she wants to continue with her job or she wants to invest time in her kids. There are many organizations, who fully support

women

and give them enough freedom to excel in their opportunities. Girls and females are equivalently fighting their battles and showing their true potential.

For instance

, The CEO of Cognizant company is a

woman

and not only that our history is proof of many

women

who have served their nation.

Furthermore

women

are not only working in entertainment, IT, politics but

also

in the defence sector. In conclusion, I strongly think that the collaborative efforts of society and

women

can eliminate

this

thinking and it can help us to grow and build a new perspective of seeing

this

world.

Submitted by shreyaraut1996 on Sat Oct 23 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender roles
nurturing
empathy
sensitivity
maternal instinct
paternal involvement
child's development
work-life balance
gender equality

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