IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that the unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
High school is a fundamental part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the formation of many
people
. What we learn and experience here might stay for the rest of our lives and be the reason for making decisions later as an adult.
This
 is why it is important to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 relevant information about different fields of life, not only
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
. Doing community service can be relevant for students to complement their subjects with practice, to make them aware of
people
's reality and keep them busy during free
time
.
First
, working for the wellness of the community can make them getting conscious about how anybody can cause an improvement in the town by sharing some of their free
time
.
This
 will create a sense of
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 and will make them emphatic about the needs of the town. To help
improving
Change the form of the verb
improve
show examples
 a
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 can make a person understand how some
people
 live and the struggles they con have to go through
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. For a city to grow
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 important that all members supported each other and become stronger together.
Second
, to do different tasks and to be part of social groups oriented to a good cause can avoid
to fall
Change the verb form
falling
show examples
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 criminal activities or in the consuming of alcohol and drugs. Staying busy and interacting with more
people
 interested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 doing goods will reduce the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of wasting their
time
. Teaching sports to children is a good way to relax, stay in shape and create a safe hobby for kids. To sum up, community service should be
thaught
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
 during high school to show the students how to be useful in a social group and how
this
 is a good way to use free
time
 and
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
 it on wrong activities.
Submitted by miguelfloresb2021 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • neighborhood improvement
  • teaching sports
  • empathy
  • social justice
  • transferable skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • problem-solving
  • civic duty
  • civic engagement
  • educational enhancement
  • practical experiences
  • academic learning
  • real-world applications
  • social cohesion
  • mutual support
  • time management
  • balancing priorities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: