Many children today find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What could you think are the main causes? What are the possible solutions?

#children #attention #school

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, it is difficult for many

children

Use synonyms

to stay

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

Use synonyms

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will examine two main causes of

this

Linking Words

issue, and propose some possible solutions.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the main causes which reduce

children

Use synonyms

's concentration is that some parents allow their kids

play

Fix the infinitive

to play

show examples

mobiles phone too much. Obviously, when kids are playing more online games or watching VDO clips, they will pay attention to study lesser.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the possible solution to solve

this

Linking Words

is limiting the spending of time on using mobile devices.

Moreover

Linking Words

, parents should encourage their

children

Use synonyms

to do more social

activities

Use synonyms

than playing electronic devices.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will help

children

Use synonyms

to be more

focus

Replace the word

focused

show examples

Use synonyms

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, another main cause of

distract

Wrong verb form

distracting

show examples

children

Use synonyms

from

schools

Use synonyms

is that there are so many attractive

activities

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, some teenagers found that they would rather

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

surfing than

studying

Replace the word

study

show examples

in the classroom.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they prefer surfing the internet all the time.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, the possible solution to fix it is not

allow

Fix the infinitive

to allow

show examples

them

using

Change the verb form

to use

show examples

any mobile device during the class. While promoting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical fun

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as football, basketball, etc. is necessary to draw their attention, and it will improve their ability to focus. In conclusion, it is undeniable that many

children

Use synonyms

today are hard to concentrate

Change preposition

show examples

the classroom.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may cause by using too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

devices and being easier to access interesting

activities

Use synonyms

schools

Use synonyms

and parents can fix

this

Linking Words

problem by

limit

Wrong verb form

limiting

show examples

the

using

Replace the word

use

show examples

time of mobile phones as well as not

allow

Wrong verb form

allowing

show examples

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

to use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

in lecture rooms.

Submitted by kanokwann.joy on Sun Oct 24 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Attention span
Cognitive function
Digital devices
Screen time
Physical activity
Concentration
Nutrition
Processed foods
Sleep deprivation
Mental health
Academic performance
Classroom environment
Teaching assistants

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Nowadays, businesses are tending to hire employees who will spends their entire lives working for the company. This essay disagrees with the suggestion completely because it might be unfair for the employees.
4.5
band
In many countries, not enough students study science subjects. What are the causes? What will be the effect on society?
While it is widely observed that the number of students majored in sciences is falling numerous countries which potentially contributed from various factors, others argue that the fall of these groups can impact on the society negatively especially on the improvement of the nation. The cause and effect of the concerning trend and personal view will be further discussed in this essay.
7
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is sad that music could play as a connecting bridge between individuals with distinctive age groups and cultural backgrounds. However, some people see music as an only entertaining tool. I completely agree with the former opinion
4.5
band
Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project he/she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • say how important New Year is to people in your country • describe how New Year is celebrated in your country • explain what you like about New Year celebrations in your country
I was happy to receive your
7
band
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
The world has become a global village where people share the same interests and follow the same trends in terms of shopping and fashion. Regardless of their residence, an increasing number of individuals can purchase similar items and goods around the globe. However, I believe this tendency harbors only negative implications rather than positive ones.

Many children today find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What could you think are the main causes? What are the possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In many countries, not enough students study science subjects. What are the causes? What will be the effect on society?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?