Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #money #source #happiness

In global ,discussions it is believed that money is the major source of happiness. In my opinion, I agree that they can bring a lot of joy as they greatly benefit both individuals and society. I will try to prove my point of view in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, I would like to state that finances are a wonderful tool for the world. Without ,them all humanity would turn into chaos because they are the fundamental instrument for basic trading and life operations. Poorer countries sell their goods to richer ones and buy food, technologies and medicines for their own populations.

For example

this

happened in 2020 during

global

Add an article

a global

show examples

pandemic when governments were trying to get

Add an article

the vaccine

a vaccine

show examples

vaccine

Fix the agreement mistake

vaccines

show examples

to protect nations.

Moreover

this

would not

happened

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

without

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

financial system. Another point to consider is that we have to stop

see

Change the form of the verb

seeing

show examples

it as a bad thing.

This

opinion was put into our minds through the media

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

time ago. Money can be used in charity to help others or to build new schools for children. We should stop spreading

this

bad mindset and start to educate our

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

to invest them, operate and make savings to make their life more

financial

Replace the word

financially

show examples

stable. In the long run,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people will have

benefits

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

from these steps.

Finally

, lack of funds can

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

a lot of troubles

such

as problems with health, not sustainable future and many not educated people.

This

will bring catastrophic

consquences

Correct your spelling

consequences

for the whole

humanity

Change preposition

of humanity

show examples

. In conclusion, money is a good thing in total as they create the basic

relathionship

Correct your spelling

relationship

between individuals and countries. In my viewpoint, I believe that they can indirectly bring happiness by creating opportunities for young people and can help in the hard times.

This

is the key to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

successful life and future.

Submitted by Yaro on Sun Oct 24 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In our modern world, the choices made by young people in relation to beginning a career are changing with many university-age people opting to undertake training in the workplace. While this has numerous benefits for both society and the young, some drawbacks can also be observed.
6
band
You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events' organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser. In your letter • expressing your interest in the role • requesting more information about it • explaining what experience you have Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..., You should write at least 150 words.
I am writing this letter to request you to participate in the social event, as you know that I am heading for a month for a training programme in the UK and you are looking for an organiser for the seminar.
5.5
band
A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear..., You should write at least 150 words.
I hope you are dong great. I know you are feeling uncomfortable to fin in at your new education center. I am writing this letter to give you some suggestions and ideas to tackle this issue.
4
band
You have just returned from holiday and were not satisfied with your trip. Write to the travel agency. In your letter •Say where / when you went on holiday •Explain why you are not satisfied with your holiday •Tell them what you would like them to do
I'm writing to complain about just returning from holiday and were not satisfied with my trip. I went to Da Lat City last month with my family to relax at the end of the year.
5.5
band
Many people use distance learning programmes to study at home, but others think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
With technological advancements learning has not been restricted to classes only. There are number of people who think that distance learning is not a good option. According to my prespective both methods have their own pros which will be discussed in the impending paragraphs.

Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

You have just returned from holiday and were not satisfied with your trip. Write to the travel agency. In your letter •Say where / when you went on holiday •Explain why you are not satisfied with your holiday •Tell them what you would like them to do

Many people use distance learning programmes to study at home, but others think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.