Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #money #source #happiness

In global ,discussions it is believed that money is the major source of happiness. In my opinion, I agree that they can bring a lot of joy as they greatly benefit both individuals and society. I will try to prove my point of view in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, I would like to state that finances are a wonderful tool for the world. Without ,them all humanity would turn into chaos because they are the fundamental instrument for basic trading and life operations. Poorer countries sell their goods to richer ones and buy food, technologies and medicines for their own populations.

For example

this

happened in 2020 during

global

Add an article

a global

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pandemic when governments were trying to get

Add an article

the vaccine

a vaccine

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vaccine

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vaccines

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to protect nations.

Moreover

this

would not

happened

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

without

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

financial system. Another point to consider is that we have to stop

see

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seeing

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it as a bad thing.

This

opinion was put into our minds through the media

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

time ago. Money can be used in charity to help others or to build new schools for children. We should stop spreading

this

bad mindset and start to educate our

offsprings

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offspring

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how

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on how

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to invest them, operate and make savings to make their life more

financial

Replace the word

financially

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stable. In the long run,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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people will have

benefits

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benefit

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from these steps.

Finally

, lack of funds can

causes

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cause

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a lot of troubles

such

as problems with health, not sustainable future and many not educated people.

This

will bring catastrophic

consquences

Correct your spelling

consequences

for the whole

humanity

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of humanity

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. In conclusion, money is a good thing in total as they create the basic

relathionship

Correct your spelling

relationship

between individuals and countries. In my viewpoint, I believe that they can indirectly bring happiness by creating opportunities for young people and can help in the hard times.

This

is the key to

the

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show examples

successful life and future.

Submitted by Yaro on Sun Oct 24 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that meat is bad for health . Do you agree or disagree ?

Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, students take a year off finishing school should students take a gap year before attending university? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people believe that men and woman are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for woman. What’s your opinion?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are important as to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?