IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. how far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

#people #guarantee #job #course #university #education #work #school #gain #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 chart illustrates how the percentage of electrical appliances owned spent by households in one country, and the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on house chores changed during the 1920 to 2019 period. The common trend in appliance
ownership
Use synonyms
 is that all kinds of electronics owned by
people
Use synonyms
 are increasing over the year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 spent less time doing Housework. When we look at the washing machine in 1920 amount of
people
Use synonyms
 who have a refrigerator is almost zero, while refrigerator and Vacuum cleaner, the former has 40%
ownership
Use synonyms
 and the letter has 30%
ownership
Use synonyms
. The refrigerator
ownership
Use synonyms
 start to sharply rise in 1920 until 1980 when it stay at almost 100%. The vacuum cleaner followed
this
Linking Words
 trend too, the only difference is that it had slower growth. Both met 100%
ownership
Use synonyms
 rate in 2000 and still stayed like
this
Linking Words
 in 2019.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who have washing machines is gradually increased from 1920 to 1960
then
Linking Words
 stayed relatively steady until 2019 Meanwhile, owners of prior mentioned appliances were increasing,
people
Use synonyms
 were spending less time doing housework. In 1920 50
hours
Use synonyms
 were spent per week and decreased to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1960
then
Linking Words
 slowly decreased until only 10
hours
Use synonyms
 was used in 2019.
Submitted by tanat30635.ts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
What to do next:
Look at other essays: