IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people Today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life what are the causes of the situation and what kind individuals and employers do to reduce the problem

#people #balance #demands #work #life #situation #individuals #employers
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These days
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
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life
Use synonyms
 balance is
such
Linking Words
 a difficult issue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 era due to the fact that the rising cost of living and
also
Linking Words
 the atmosphere of competition at
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, we should seek a solution for
this
Linking Words
 problem by saving more
money
Use synonyms
 and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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relaxing
Correct article usage
a relaxing
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 vibe at the company.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many factors that can affect the
balace
Correct your spelling
balance
 of
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
life
Use synonyms
 and personal
life
Use synonyms
.
Accorrding
Correct your spelling
According
 to the high cost of living,
people
Use synonyms
 have to earn
money
Use synonyms
 by working harder and harder, which make
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 gain more income,
consequently
Linking Words
, The time that will be left for their own or family is running out.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is
also
Linking Words
 the competitive
atmostphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 in the workplace that can ruin their work-
life
Use synonyms
 balance, the employers must do their best for the jobs to get the promotion which means the advancement
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
life
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, society
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to get rid of
this
Linking Words
 problem by
encoraging
Correct your spelling
encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 to save more
money
Use synonyms
 and spend less on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unneeded
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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stuffs
Correct your spelling
stuff
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.
This
Linking Words
 attitude would help them to have more time
on
Change preposition
in
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
her
 personal
life
Use synonyms
 since they would have enough
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 for paying the significant bills.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the employers are
also
Linking Words
 the key factor of
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
, they should create a friendly environment in the company
such
Linking Words
 as decreasing the gap between boss and employers or between the
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, which will make the tension at workplace decline, so
people
Use synonyms
 can have a more relaxing or leisure time with their family or friends. In conclusion, even we find it tough to have a nice balance between work
life
Use synonyms
 and personal
life
Use synonyms
 due to the cost of living and high competition in the company, our society can release
this
Linking Words
 tension by
encorage
Correct your spelling
encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to save more
money
Use synonyms
 and create a relaxing
atmostphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
Submitted by 180nam.r405 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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