There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

Listening to

music

has its own advantages whether it is traditional or international

music

However

, traditional

music

is gradually going down because people

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

fond of

internation

Correct your spelling

international

one

Music

nowadays is playing a role of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

medicine for people.

Doesnt

Correct your spelling

Doesn't

matter whether the person is old or young, everyone likes to listen to

music

. It is indeed

imprtant

Correct your spelling

important

to get relaxed and feel calm at some point of the day and

such

time soothing

music

calm

Change the verb form

calms

show examples

the nerves. Even

Psycologist

Correct your spelling

Psychologist

Psychologists

also

recommend

to listen

Change the verb form

listening

show examples

music

to divert your mind from the negative thoughts and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

boost your mood. It has been proved scientifically that listening to

music

has reduced stress

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

Music

has

also

the

Correct article usage

show examples

connection to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

memory.

For example

, when you listen to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

particular song that reminds you

either

Change preposition

of either

show examples

one

person or a particular place related to it. There are so many types of

music

such

as Jazz, classical, rap, trance, etc. For some, they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

even distinguish between them.

However

, old people still stick to their traditional

music

and they found

this

modern

music

so loud and noisy. Traditional

music

is important to recognize the country's specific

music

For example

, to know what is India's

music

? it is Classical

music

. To keep

one

country's

music

legacy,

tradional

Correct your spelling

traditional

music

is for sure important.

However

, the young generation is following international songs and singers and

thus

they are less indulge in their own nation's

music

. In conclusion, we listen to

music

for our entertainment and to get rid of the stress it is necessary. Since

international

Correct article usage

the international

show examples

music

industry has

take

Change the verb form

taken

show examples

over the traditional

one

, to keep

one

root

Fix the agreement mistake

roots

show examples

, giving

vital

Add an article

the vital

a vital

show examples

role to traditional

music

is mandatory.

Submitted by brijal_desai on Mon Oct 25 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to succeed in life is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause What can be done about this

Some people think that to learn a second language well, it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken. What is your opinion about this?