In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security

It is undeniable that in the present day, many

cities

have faced problems about criminals in public

places

, which led to many

cities

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

decided to install video cameras in public

places

to decrease

crime

around the

places

However

, some

people

believe that all of these cameras will make their freedom less than before. The following paragraph will be discussing the benefits of reducing

crime

by increasing

camera

that outweighs the disbenefit of

this

decision.

To begin

with, I certainly agree with all of the

cities

that increasing

camera

to overwatch safety for their

people

and believe that the benefits of the video

camera

have outweighed by following reasons.

Firstly

, it is obvious that many

people

are concerned about their security more than their freedom in public

places

Secondly

, installing the

camera

in public should not be considered as decreasing individual freedom due to the fact that we can do anything if things that we would like to do, it does not break the laws.

Lastly

, it is a good thing to know our taxes are not

waste

Wrong verb form

wasted

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

something that

people

do not use, money

is come

Change to the active voice

comes

has come

show examples

back to us in the way of improving our safety.

In addition

this

camera

will surely help polices to investigate

crime

screens, which make polices can capture criminals in a short amount of time. The consequence of

this

also

makes tourists trust the

cities

which generates more income for

people

in the

cities

and

this

will follow by the lower

crime

rate. In summary, I believe that all of the former and latter paragraphs that have been explained about the reasons and examples are enough to show that the benefits of

this

action are outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by satoshi.nmtd on Mon Oct 25 2021

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Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Surveillance cameras
Public safety
Deterrent
Evidence collection
Apprehend perpetrators
Public spaces
Invasion of privacy
Civil liberties
Abuse of power
Misuse
Cost implications
Monitoring
Maintenance
Essential services
Justice system

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In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to bring up children? What consequences could this way of parenting pose on children as they get older?

“What are the advantages of getting news online? What are the drawbacks

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

The friends that children have are a very important part of their lives. What kinds of influence may children's friends have on them? What can parents do to ensure that their children's friends are a good influence on them?

Some student work while studying.This often results in lacking tome for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the cause of this? What solution can yoi suggest?