In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some regions, it is reported that the number of your age group playing or listening to classical
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has declined. The main rationale for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem is the development of newer
types
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and theirs popularity is rapidly increasing in today world. I believe that the encouragement to learn playing classical type is the positive step.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is essay will put forward the rationale and why
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

positive step should be applied. The primary reason
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
mentioned decline comes from the popularity of news
types
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music

It appears that musics is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
and its attraction to
young
Add an article
the young

The noun phrase young generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
generation. As people tend to seek
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
something new, they might think that the old one is too traditional and less appealing to them.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Subsequently
Add a comma
,Subsequently

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Subsequently. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
when new
types
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

attract a significant amount of the society, they start to gain their popularity;
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
community
Add an article
the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
will put an excessive focus on them and classical starts to
loss
Replace the word
lose

The word loss doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
its heat. Take a new genre of
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

- rap
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Add the comma(s)
,for

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for example. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
example, it could be clearly seen that the majority of
young
Correct article usage
the young

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
generation
enjoyably
Add a missing verb
is enjoyably

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
keen on listening and rapping since there are more and more programs and rap songs
appear
Wrong verb form
appearing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb appear. Consider changing it.

show examples
on TV and social media. In my opinion, I suggest that the young should be encouraged to heritage old genres of
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, specifically classical by learning and playing them. If people keep ignoring that classical
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

already has a tendency to be less used nowadays, it will soon disappear in our life in the near future.
Music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has always been considered as a culture;
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

significantly important to
remain
Correct your spelling
retain

The word remain doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
its appearance for
later
Add an article
a later

The noun phrase later generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations

It seems that generation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to know. Take playing
piano
Change the article
the piano

It appears that the phrase piano may not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Add the comma(s)
,for

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for instance. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
instance, people still play it till now because the culture of playing it has been heritage from years to years. In conclusion, the reason leads to
fewer
Add an article
a fewer

The noun phrase fewer young age group seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
young age group
who
Change the pronoun
whom

It appears that the pronoun who may be used incorrectly. Consider changing it.

show examples
platy enjoy classical
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is mostly come
Change to the active voice
mostly comes
has mostly come

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb come in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

show examples
from the trend that newer
types
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music

It appears that musics is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
are becoming more popular and attract a noticeable enjoyment.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, encouraging the young to play classical is a positive step. I suggest that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could be done by opening more classical playing
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

classes, increasing the appearance of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

genre on TV, social media, etc.
Submitted by nguyenngocminhanh1102 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: