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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #clothes #hair #styles #fashion #development
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People
Use synonyms
 belonging to different countries of the
world
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 are nowadays investing more money in buying clothes and following the latest trends
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
fashion
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 regarding
selection
Add an article
the selection
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 of hairstyles. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 recent trend of following
fashion
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 blindly is detrimental. One of the reasons why
people
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 are attracted to
this
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 trend is that the
fashion
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 industry has been presented as a
world
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 of fantasy.
This
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 unique way of presentation has drawn the attention of the youth to the field of
fashion
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,
for example
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, a lot of dress designers conduct different
fashion
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 shows using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous sports and social media icons as models for showcasing their recent collections,
hence
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 the youngsters are attracted more towards
this
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 industry. Another reason is that in the modern
world
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 to make more money and to promote business,
people
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 are trying to invest a handsome amount of money in advertisements. These advertisements are made more eye-catching and sometimes even bad quality stuff is shown as being made up of durable material.
Thus
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,
people
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 under the influence of these commercials develop trust and buy more from these brands. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, the public mostly thinks that the brands investing more in the advertisement industry would
be having
Wrong verb form
have
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 better quality and these brands being business-minded tend to exploit these
people
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due to
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this
Linking Words
 mentality. I am of the point of view that
this
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 development is affecting the
world
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 negatively. The followers of these recent trends in
fashion
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 are distracted,
therefore
Linking Words
 they are emphasising more on adapting the newer ways to look more stylish and modern as compared to their studies, leading to a sharp decline in their grades. To illustrate it
further
Linking Words
, in the past students would focus more on their studies but owing to the greater influence of
fashion
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 these days, their emphasis has been shifted. They are spending more time thinking about what to wear for college without even realising that their time is being wasted
this
Linking Words
 way. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 following recent
fashion
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 is trendy, I think that the sudden surge in
fashion
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 followers is resulting in
this
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 youth being controlled by the
fashion
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world
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 and some strategies must be planned to salvage
this
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 situation or else the effects
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be disastrous.
Submitted by nailaheramedhat on

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