IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

#summaries #information #features #comparisons #household #expenditure #japan #malaysia #year
The pie chart illustrates
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
show examples
 of average household expenditure between
Japan
 and
Malaysia
 in 2010. The main sectors for consideration
consists
Change the verb form
consist
show examples
 of 5 categories including housing, transport, food, health care, other goods and services. Overall, the other goods and services
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the largest
expense
 in
Japan
 while in
Malaysia
, the highest numbers belong to housing
catagory
Correct your spelling
category
 with 29% and 34% respectively. It is interesting to see that
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 care sector was the least
expense
Replace the word
expensive
show examples
 for both countries.
Japan
 spent in total 29% ,which consecutively 10% more than
Malaysia
 with 26%. Meanwhile,
Malaysia
's expenditure slightly surpassed
Japan
expense
 in
Food
Correct article usage
the Food
show examples
 sector
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 3% with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 estimated
expense
 of 27%.
Submitted by petchlada.yaovapak on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: