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Writing Samples /
Band 1

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

#summaries #information #features #comparisons #household #expenditure #japan #malaysia #year
The pie chart illustrates
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
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 of average household expenditure between
Japan
 and
Malaysia
 in 2010. The main sectors for consideration
consists
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consist
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 of 5 categories including housing, transport, food, health care, other goods and services. Overall, the other goods and services
was
Change the verb form
were
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 the largest
expense
 in
Japan
 while in
Malaysia
, the highest numbers belong to housing
catagory
Correct your spelling
category
 with 29% and 34% respectively. It is interesting to see that
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 care sector was the least
expense
Replace the word
expensive
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 for both countries.
Japan
 spent in total 29% ,which consecutively 10% more than
Malaysia
 with 26%. Meanwhile,
Malaysia
's expenditure slightly surpassed
Japan
expense
 in
Food
Correct article usage
the Food
show examples
 sector
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 3% with
the
Correct article usage
an
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 estimated
expense
 of 27%.
Submitted by petchlada.yaovapak on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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