Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts
illustrates
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illustrate
show examples
a comparison
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
household expenditure between
Japan
and
Malaysia
in the year 2010. The concerned sectors
including
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
Housing, Transport, Food, Health care as well as Other goods and services. Overall, the highest participation rate belonged to Other goods and services in
Japan
with 29% in 2010. Meanwhile, the majority expense in
Malaysia
was Housing in
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
of 34% in the same year. The lowest expenditure for both
Japan
and
Malaysia
was in
Health
Correct article usage
the Health
show examples
care region, 6% and 3% respectively. Moving forward with the rest of
description
Correct article usage
the description
show examples
, the
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
show examples
spent in
Japan
was in
Housing
Correct article usage
the Housing
show examples
category for 21%.
On the other hand
,
Food
Correct article usage
the Food
show examples
sector was the secondary for
Malaysia
with 27%.
Moreover
, In
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
category, 24% was spent in total in
Japan
which
considered
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is considered
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to be
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being
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3% less than
Malaysia
. Consecutively,
Japan
spent 10% more than
Malaysia
in Transport aspect with
retrospect
Add an article
a retrospect
the retrospect
show examples
of 20% and 10% respectively.
Submitted by petchlada.yaovapak on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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