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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that getting a degree from a university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #guarantee #job #work
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many individuals say that
,
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apply
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 finding a good vacancy for work is quite easy if a person
have
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has
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 a high level of
education
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 from any institute.
however
Linking Words
, others oppose
this
Linking Words
 and say rather than higher studies,
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the juvenile
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juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
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 should adopt work directly and try to know more about the work experience. in my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
i
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I
show examples
 think it depends upon individuals choice and their preferences, what they want to do in their life. in upcoming
paragraphs
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,paragraphs
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i
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I
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 will discuss my viewpoints regarding the notion.
to begin
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 with, it has been said that higher
education
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 plays an important role in getting
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 rank or good
job
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.
first
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 of all, the
jobs
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such
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 as
,
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apply
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 a doctor, an IPS, an IAS, an advocate, a judge,a teacher
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of
jobs
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 really need
high
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a high
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 level of
education
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. despite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, companies
also
Linking Words
 require those employees who have the depth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge. to cite an example, for an
accountant
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,accountant
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 a person is only eligible for
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
a job
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 if s/he have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge about accounting.
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otherwise
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,otherwise
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 s/he is useless.
hence
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, it has proven that without degrees people even cannot think about
such
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 kind of
jobs
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.
on the other hand
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 side,
opponent
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opponents
show examples
say
Change the verb form
says
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 that
instead
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 of getting any degree, people should find
Use synonyms
Add an article
a job
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 directly to get more experience.
first
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 of all, there are many labour
jobs
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 even do not need much
education
Use synonyms
.
for example
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, stitching, a painter, a
Correct your spelling
hairdresser
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hair dresser
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hairdresser
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, a plumber
such
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jobs
Use synonyms
 according to me required less
education
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. these
jobs
Use synonyms
 just need experience .
for instance
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,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 educator or an officer
may
Correct your spelling
maybe
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be do
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do
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 not have an idea how to make
mixture
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the mixture
a mixture
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 for
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 of
building
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the building
a building
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.
however
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, finding
Add an article
a high
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high rank
Add a hyphen
high-rank
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job
Use synonyms
 is
also
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 quite hard in
this
Linking Words
 modern era due to high competition. as a result, the
jobs
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 which, do not need much
education
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 are easy to get as compared to getting a degree. in conclusion, it has been noticed that
,
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apply
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it depends upon the person's choice and
also
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 their goal
settups
Correct your spelling
setups
.
however
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, I think the vacancies which need higher
education
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 became a daunting task for everyone, because of
modernity
Correct article usage
the modernity
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 and
competitive
Correct article usage
the competitive
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 era.but the people with strong determination and confidence can get
such
Linking Words
jobs
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but will take time.
Submitted by  Mandeep on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • specialized fields
  • job prospects
  • earning potential
  • formal education
  • networking opportunities
  • career advancement
  • practical skills
  • work environment
  • financial independence
  • high costs
  • skills and experience
  • formal education
  • prioritize
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