IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THE BEST WAY TO LEARN ABOUT BUSINESS IS TO STUDY A COURSE AT COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY. OTHERS BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE OTHER BETTER WAYS TO LEARN ABOUT BUSINESS.

#people #business #study #course #college #university
There is no doubt that the choices in learning
differs
Change the verb form
differ
show examples
 from one another. Especially when it comes to business, many of us would have different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 and
prospectives
Replace the word
prospects
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, it is hard to say who is thinking in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right
way
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some would probably
are
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 in a thought that Courses at universities from the best professors would make anyone businessman. The reason to think in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
such
 a
way
 is quite simple and understandable. It is believed to think that teachers are much more experienced and aware than
Add an article
a freshman
show examples
freshman
Fix the agreement mistake
freshmen
show examples
. It means that teachers would probably share
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
,
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 and mistakes.
This
 kind of traditional
way
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 expected to be
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
way
 for many people.
On the other hand
, there are proponents of another
way
 of thinking. Their choice in Learning would be based on getting harsh lessons through
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own mistakes. If someone is intended to be the best in his occupation, his experience will make more sense rather than his studies. Practical learning cant
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 as same as in theory. It differs badly especially in business,
therefore
 there are numerous niches in it. Obviously, all niches can not be taught at four years of
bachelor
Add an article
a bachelor
the bachelor
show examples
 degree.
In addition
 to it, practice teaches more than
hypothesis
Fix the agreement mistake
hypotheses
show examples
 written on the paper by teachers. It leads to
reflection
Correct article usage
a reflection
show examples
 pathway where
self analysis
Add a hyphen
self-analysis
show examples
 and
self learning
Add a hyphen
self-learning
show examples
 would definitely be involved. If to conclude ideas, there is an ambiguous choice in learning. Suggestions would be just taking attention from each
way
. It is better
mention
Add the particle
to mention
show examples
 that cons and pros are presented in both
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 of thinking.
Submitted by k.zhaukhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: