Some people fell unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? what can be done to address this issue?

Since
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
revolution
Add a comma
,revolution
show examples
our world has been developing in technological
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
mental health getting less
resistable
Correct your spelling
resistible
to pressure from the outside. It led to
appearance
Add an article
the appearance
show examples
of some mental issues
such
as
claustraphobia
Correct your spelling
claustrophobia
, hydrophobia, and the
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
of being unsafe everywhere. Since the
hystory
Correct your spelling
history
of
claustraphobia
Correct your spelling
claustrophobia
is way too sophisticated and hydrophobia is an aftermath of
drown
Change the verb form
drowning
show examples
people
, it is better to talk about the feeling of unsafety. What caused it, and how does it affect the daily life of the person?
Firstly
, the prime reason for
this
fear is
surrounding
Add an article
the surrounding
show examples
environment. In ancient days our ancestors had improved self-awareness throughout their
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
and discoveries. Even when the peaceful days
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
started, at the beginning of
2nd
Correct article usage
the 2nd
show examples
millenium
Change the capitalization
Millenium
millennium
show examples
, the feeling's still
remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
till nowadays. In the
present
Add a comma
,present
show examples
there is no war an enormous conflict, but the level of the crime. Due to
this
some
people
prefer staying at home.
Secondly
, after the internet got introduced to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity,
people
have got lots of possibilities online. Now an internet user may search for everything he'd like to know, offer something
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
a distance and everyone can make a conversation with anyone. For the biggest dismay,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
also
gave opportunities to scam or
bully
Change the form of the verb
bullying
show examples
anonymously.
This
resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
show examples
development of
cyberbulling
Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
and the worst - hacking. Now scammers can get your personal information if you
clicked
Wrong verb form
click
show examples
on the wrong application or link.
People
who got
such
experience will have the feeling of unsafety at home. When
people
had experienced both situations, the feeling of being unsecure appears. It causes the person
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
Correct article usage
an introvert
show examples
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
or being sociophob. To decrease the number of
such
situations, let's teach everyone cybersafety and
self defence
Add a hyphen
self-defence
show examples
.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perceive
  • Threat
  • Crime
  • Fear
  • Accident
  • Natural disaster
  • Personal security
  • Trust
  • Authorities
  • Social isolation
  • Loneliness
  • Media
  • News coverage
  • Community safety measures
  • Personal security awareness
  • Transparency
  • Support networks
  • Community involvement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: